A month after her 31st birthday, Kimberly Rosales was diagnosed withbreast cancer.
Heres her story, as told to Caroline Reilly.
It started when I felt a lump in December of 2022.
Courtesy of Kimberly Rosales/Rosa Lopez Cook
Before I went in, I tried to really mentally prepare myself.
I thought, Whats the worst thats going to happen?
Youre going to go throughchemo, youre going to lose your hair.
So I was already prepared for hearing the wordcancer.
When it comes to dating, I dont see myself as changed by my breast cancer diagnosis.
But it can definitely be challenging.
So at the beginning, I had a lot of issues to navigate: How much should I share?
When do I have that conversation?
Or do I wait until I get really close with somebody?
It can be heavy and a lot to deal with.
I remember asking, Is everything okay?
He kept asking me questions until finally he started looking like he was getting nauseous.
He asked questions about it, and we went on the date and everything seemed fine.
Dating involves so many things that [were socialized] to say makes a woman a woman, right?
Your hair, your breasts.
They are part of your identity and can give you confidence.
So if those change due to cancer, it can take a lot from you.
But Ive always been very confident in myself, and self-confidence can help you get through it.
I have had some good experiences.
Ive gone through chemo two times.
And I was terrified of showing him my hair, because Id only worn wigs when we were together.
But one night, I really saw a different side of him.
He asked to see my hair, and I was terrified.
Ill never forget that.
These days, I enjoy meeting people in person rather than from apps.
Im super social and I have no problem approaching somebody.
And I get approached too, which always feels great.
And interestingly, when my diagnosis comes up, its not as much of an issue.
It comes up naturally.
Ill be wearing a blond wig, for example.
And someone will ask, Oh, is that a wig?
And Ill say yes, and they often ask why.
And I just tell them: Im going through chemo.
Sometimes people will definitely respond with something like, Wow, I was not expecting that!
But I find in person its just really easy.
Ill admit there are some times when I grapple with a rollercoaster of emotions.
I love putting on my makeup, doing my hair, picking my outfit.
Ill do a smokey eye or wear a new wig.
Im into fashion, and Ive turned to it so much since my diagnosis.
Now my closet looks just like that.
Putting together a whole lookthe process just hypes me up.
It also challenges the idea that theres such a thing aslookingsick.
I heard it all the time just after I was diagnosed: Oh, you dont look sick!
And I get it.
People dont want to accept that you’re able to be out at a bar, enjoying life.
It makes them uncomfortablebecause then they cant imagine you as someone they can pity.
And thats the big thing with me: I do not want pity.
And Im more excited for the moment where I get to invite that person in.
