To say I’m a planner is an understatement.
Then, at 23, I was diagnosed withcancer.
For all my planning, suddenly I didn’t know if I’d be alive in five years.
Except you might’t wing it with cancer.
But cancer has a funny way of causing you to reevaluate your plans.
Who knew how much I’d end up changingmy values, my passions and, eventually, my job.
Luckily, most people don’t need a near-death experience to have this kind of revelation.
Simply do the exercises on the following pages to see what makesyourheart beat faster.
It’s not all about setting goals, attaining them andvoila!you’re thrilled.
It’s about the joy of striving.
“When we hit a milestone, the good vibes don’t usually last.
We adapt,” Lyubomirsky says.
Maybe that’s why I’m always looking for the next new thing.
Right now, it’s learning to communicate in Spanish without embarrassing myself.
But the best life plans don’t simply address small, concrete ambitions, like mastering a language.
It may sound overwhelming, but the planning process is easier than you might think.
So grab a pen, but keep in mind that not all goals are created equal.
Studies show that to be successful, your aims should be both challenging and specific.
How’s that for challenging, specific and out of my comfort zone?
Look back and learn.
Jot down five past accomplishments you love thinking about.
I love reflecting on the team victories I scored playing volleyball and soccer in high school.
(2) Are there classes I’d love to take or skills I’m dying to learn?
(3) Are there ways I want to give back to others?
The answer to this question will help you edit your list to the most meaningful aims.
(Try conceiving of a 25-year plan and you’ll see why.)
Still having trouble narrowing down your list?
Look for recurring themes to help you decide what to keep and what to ditch.
Maybe cooking-related dreams such as throwing fabulous dinner parties and becoming a master baker come up repeatedlytake notice!
Start by examining your list for conflicts.
“It’s OK to postpone certain plans until later,” Miller says.
“The mini-goals should be measurable and trackable so you could see your progress,” Miller says.
Broadcasting your goals to friends (Facebook counts) can help you achieve them as well.
If you feel weird trumpeting your pursuit publicly (“I want to meet Mr.
Right so I can have a family one day”), pick a trusted pal to confide in.
“The group is like an informal board of directors,” she says.
“They hold my feet to the fire.”
What if, despite your best efforts, you’re not seeing progress?
That may signal it’s time to change course.
(Maybe I should stop searching for the perfect guy and learn to be happy on my own.)
That’s not giving up.
In my case, I always thought I wanted a third childuntil recently.
The truth is, as one of three kids myself, I felt I was supposed to have three.
For me, pregnancy and nausea definitely conflict with throwing fund-raising fetes!
Often, that turns out to be a good thing.
One reason: Striving for an unattainable goal could actually weaken the immune system, the Concordia study finds.
That was the case for me.
Looking back at who I was before cancer, I have to admit that I was a tad self-centered.
I’m still a work in progress, but I think I’m striking a good balance.
Photo Credit: Michael Edwards
