In fact, I felt nothing touching my skin besides the mat.
As I rounded my back through severalCat/Cowposes, my eyes aligned with my soft, bare belly.
Tears sprang to my eyes.
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I wished away that part of my body for a long part of my life.
I started hating my body around age 7.
By 13, I developed an eating disorder that lasted for years and resulted in multiple hospitalizations.
Courtesy of Dana Hamilton
I learned to think about and treat my body with more respect.
Instinctively, I walked over to the far wall, laid out my mat, and sat down.
A few seconds later, I stood up.
If I was going to do this, I was going to do it right.
One of the women who had already set up her mat heard my remark and grinned warmly at me.
More people came in and got situated.
Given that we were a group of strangers, this seemed like the polite thing to do.
Once the door of the apartment was closed, latecomers were no longer welcome to join.
Willow returned to the room and sat with us.
The last tenet?No body-shamingor negative commentaryincluding any directed at yourself.
As we sat together, still clothed, I felt like pinching myself.
During my illness, a situation like this would be the absolute last place youd find me.
I kept thinking,wow, I am here.
I am doing this.
My eyes would dart around the room frantically for the entire session.
I even stayed in strenuous poses for longer in an effort to make it more challenging.
Sitting inthisclass also made me think of everything that self-hatred cost me over the years.
I remembered the summer before starting college that I spent in a treatment facility instead of with friends.
But after reminiscing about all of the pain, I also thought back to all of the work.
I thought of how hard it was for me to develop genuine respect for myself and be more present.
Fully exposed, we started in Childs Pose.
In Childs Pose, I felt safe and could tune into my body.
When we finally stood up and started doing Sun Salutations, my belly was exposed to the room.
Despite being completely nude, I remained focused solely on myself on my mat.
In this cozy apartment space, my mind was able to finally go silent.
As we moved through poses, I stayed in the zone.
There were times when we could choose poses depending upon what our body wanted.
I didnt look at whatever the person next to me was doing.
Sure, I was proud that I had the guts to do naked yoga.
But I was also proud that I made it to the other side of a debilitating eating disorder alive.
That day, we showed up.
