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But then came the pandemic.
Photo by Elizabeth Rudge / Design by Amanda K Bailey
Originally,Essential Laborwas meant to chronicle the history of caregiving in the United States.
How did they keep you afloat?
Im a caretaker, thats all I am.
People who had two young children like me and were clawing it out to get back to writing.
I would never let them say, Im not a writer.
Given that your mom is a nurse, how did that make you feel?
For a long time, Filipinx people have been invisible and underrepresented in the Asian American experience.
We often see America being compared to other countries in terms ofpaid family leave.
Do you think that this particular moment might help us shift to better social systems?
Educator Mariame Kaba said, Hope is a discipline.
When I think about it, we cant afford to not insist on this.
There were people who never stopped working during the pandemic and were figuring out childcare.
Theres an idea in this country that if you have more money, you are more deserving than others.
What can we learn from history in terms of activism when it comes to supporting caregivers?
Supporting them also means learning their schedule and working with them to make their lives a little easier.
If you might, donate to theNational Domestic Workers Alliance.
Sign petitions and make calls to government officials.
During the pandemic, I saw a robust conversation around mutual aid.
We saw community fridges.
People want to take care of each otherits a human urge.
I really believe that.
Its one of the things that gives me hope.
In your chapter titled Mothering for Pleasure, you openly wrote about your sex life.
Was that hard to do?
As I was writing it, I thought, This is so personal.
Why is it hard for me?
What is it that holds me back?
I realized it was my upbringing of nevertalking openly about sex.
I had to learn on my own and through friends about the mechanisms of pleasure of the female body.
My mother read my book and she was not pleased with that chapter.
She said to me, What is the point of this?
Why would you want to write about sex?
Your daughters are going to read this.
I said to her, I want them to have a more pleasurable sex life…. And thats what I hope for.
She listened but didnt say anything.
Womens sexuality in generalbut especially Asian womens sexualityis stereotyped.
The portrayals of it are very disturbing, highly sexualized, or invisible.
So I wanted to insist on its validity.
According to the Pew Research Center, about8 in 10 Filipinxs are Catholic.
Do you think theres Catholic guilt about sex in Filipinx culture?
Talking about sex feels like the best way forward for me.
In your chapter on mothering as natural interdependence, you write, Love is an act of attention.
Our attention, as mothers especially, has had to be divided throughout the pandemic.
How do you think that changed the way we love?
Before the pandemic, they were used to receiving attention from other people.
They had teachers, grandparents, or maybe a beloved auntie.
I also think the pandemic taught my kids a lesson inself-love.
Sometimes it felt like, Let me just occupy you because I need to go do something.
In a way, thats saying to your kids, I need to give myself some attention right now.
Throughout your book, you talk about your love for Filipinx food.
Why is sharing Filipinx food with your kids an important part of sharing your love of your culture?
But food was always a waya joyful wayto feel connected to my Filipinx identity.
I want the same for my daughters.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change by Angela Garbes
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