Weve spent a lifetime being trained to understand the word as a deeply cruel one.
Some people usefatto mean unlovable, undesirable, slovenly, unintelligent, lazy.
Others use it to mean wealthy and greedy; other times we use it to mean poor and lazy.
Javier Zayas Photography / Getty Images
It can, and does, bear all manner of things.
But all the wide-ranging things we project onto the wordfathave one thing in common: Theyre negative.
Because many people only conceive of the wordfatas a negative one, they redact it from their own vocabularies.
They object when anyone else uses the word, especially in reference to themselves.
Instead they simply assume that everyone else sees the word negatively.
They dont listen for content, dont ask clarifying questions, dont seek to support that person.
They simply lean into their own knee-jerk response of wishing the word away.Sweetie, no!
We see the ways in which fat people are bullied and excluded.
We assume that others share our myriad and multifaceted negative assumptions and preconceptions about being fat.
Ive been fat since childhood and have worn plus sizes since high school.
I have hadfathurled at me as an insult more times than I can count.
As an undeniably fat person, being called fat is the least of my problems.
Of course, not everyone is comfortable being called fat.
But that discomfort cant override fat peoples body autonomy.
and accepting whatever answer we get.
In a word youve redacted from your vocabulary, many of us find ourselves.
Here are a few ways to work on both of those goals.
Challenge your own discomfort with the wordfat.Try saying the word to yourself, over and over again.
Note how it feels in your mouth.
Show up for fat people by honoring our wishesnot just what you think our wishes ought to be.
Address your own anti-fatness.Know that your discomfort with the wordfatmay indicate discomfort with fatness or with fat people ourselves.
Dont expect to reach a simple and satisfying point of completion.
You already know how harsh this world can be for fat people.
