Maybe youre someone who never argues because you think the easiest path to harmony is nevervoicing concerns.
Or maybe youre quick-tempered, and small disagreements often turn into all-out war.
Well, no matter what pop in of fighter you are, theres probably some advice for you here.
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However, the key is to fight with the same care and intention you use to expresslove.
Below, relationship therapists share 12 tips to help with fighting fair.
You might practice diaphragmatic breathing, which activates yourrest-and-digest response(the opposite of a stress response).
For instance, you could put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
Then breathe in and out slowly through your nose.
Doing this gives you an opportunity to calm down and see the situation more holistically.
Zoom out and consider the other person’s needs alongside your own,'' Dr. Franco says.
Consider scheduling your conflict conversation.
In doing this, they can (hopefully) approach the conversation with vulnerability instead of feeling attacked.
Stick to the issue.
Dont fight to win.
Real winning will probably involveworking together.
5. take a stab at be receptive to each others concerns.
Perhaps your partner approachesyouabout an issue theyre having, and they want to discuss it.
Or maybe youve come to the argument all riled up, but your partner has a solid explanation.
No matter who is talking, it can be hard to remainopen and receptivewhen youre upset.
Repeat what youre hearing.
This small tip allows each of you to strive formutual understandingand common ground.
Its also helpful when things get tense, Dr. Franco says.
Sometimes hearing something back can be enough to interrupt someones tendency to say something hurtful.
Acknowledge when you agree with (or at least understand) where the other person is coming from.
And if we do that, it’s easier tocompromiseand come up with a solution.
Leave snark and name-calling at the door.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but common sense can disappear when tempers flare.
If things get nasty during a fight, try the next tip…
10.
Take a break (but dont just leave).
Still, it might help to take a very loving, caring, and intentional break if things devolve.
What is taking a break?
Taking a break might seem easy, but it takes a lot of maturity to pull off.
That’s how you take a break and also show concern and love for the relationship.
Set fair fight boundaries.
One way to make taking breaks easier is to set some nonnegotiable fair fight boundariesbeforeyour next fight.
These might include zero tolerance for name-calling, aggression, or anything else that makes both parties uncomfortable.
Boundariesare not punitive, Dr. Jamea explains.
They’re what we set in place to protect ourselves emotionally.
Consider an aftercare ritual.
