I was excited, engaged, on the edge of my seat…until I wasnt.
Suddenly, exhaustion consumed me.
The need to sleep hit me like a weighted blanket, making me feel heavy from eyelids to toes.
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Trying not to draw attention to myself, I stamped my feet under the table.
I pinched my thigh so hard I nearly drew blood.
Terrified, I excused myself.
I saw my primary care doctor as soon as I could.
It wasnt the first time Id seen it.
Ive never been far from sleep.
while dozing off watching TV.
But I was even sleepier thanthat.
But the tests showed nothing.
I have so many copies of that stupid pamphlet.
Actually, its not a stupid pamphlet!
Its full ofhealthy sleep practices.
But it made me feel like I was to blame.
If only I could sleep correctly, Id feel rested!
I still knew something was wrong.
By the time I turned 35, I was more than just sleepy.
My body was still doing the tasks, but my brain had gone to sleep.
And as tired as I was during the day, I hadnight terrors and sleep paralysis.
Night after night, I was awoken by a childs voice asking to hold my hand.
How would I know that I was experiencing ahypnagogic hallucinationthat needed medical attention?
Eventually, I just…kind of stopped sleeping.
Most days, I felt like a zombie with little control over my emotions.
I hoped that a higher dose of anxiety medication would make everything better.
So when I got yet another message from my doctor that everything was fine, I was apoplectic.
I concede that I didnt live the healthiest lifestyle.
I worked too much.
I didnt get enough exercise.
Perhaps I ate too much cheese.
But I couldnt for the life of me believe that my habits caused…tiny child ghosts.
That night, fueled by Ben & Jerrys and red wine, I spiraled down a Google rabbit hole.
She stopped memid opening remarksand told me we were beyond our collective knowledge onsleep.
Finally, with her concession, I was referred to a sleep specialist.
Three months later, with the appropriate testing, I was diagnosed with narcolepsysomething I had never considered.
It often looks likemy symptoms: excessive daytime sleepiness, fragmented sleep, hallucinations.
The diagnosis was a reliefand marked a new journey.
With narcolepsy you dont get better; you get better at having narcolepsy.
Four years later, Im feeling pretty good.
I still get tired, but a daily 20-minute nap helps me feel more refreshed in the afternoon.
Stress makes sleep attacks more likely, so I make a run at meditate every day.
I still have bad days, but I have tools to get through them when they happen.
My story is not unusual.
Experts estimate that narcolepsy affects around200,000 peoplein the US and takes an average of10 years to get diagnosed.
On top of that, only about 25% of people with narcolepsy receive a diagnosis.
Sometimes that inner voice telling me something wasseriouslywrong was quieter, but I never shut it out completely.
If you, too, are dealing with a sleep issue that disrupts your life, were not alone.
Around70 million peoplein the US experiencechronic sleep problems.
Your concerns are valid, and you deserve to feel better.
