This article is part ofSELFs Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less.
(And were taking our own advice: TheSELFstaff will be OOO during this time!)
Lately, Ive been plagued by a feeling I call Dont Wanna.
Jordan Moss
Its not quiteburnout, per se, but its related.
Itll be fine once you get there, you tell yourself, and its often true.
Dont Wanna isnt just about not having the energy for professional or social obligations.
It also applies to commitments you make to yourself.
But theres no better place to indulge the philosophy of Dont Wanna than with art and entertainment.
Its the rare opportunity to completely give up on something with virtually no consequences.
I didnt always have such a zen attitude toward entertainment consumption.
In many ways, seeing things through can be a useful impulse.
It minimizes food waste and helps fulfill professional obligations.
But completism is not a habit that results in optimal relaxation.
Tenacity, applied uniformly across ones life, is a curse rather than an asset.
A comic masterpiece, is how friends, professors, and reviewers described it.
I spent most of the book waiting for the masterpiece (or even the comic) to kick in.
In this case, the good stuff never started working on me.
Never again, I thought, with a level of misappropriation that borders on antisemitism.
I Dont Wanna.
In my adult life Ive fully embraced the bailout.
If Im not feeling a movie an hour into it, I quit.
One time, my wife and I were at a play whose first act felt interminable.
Do you want to leave at intermission?
Id never loved her, or anyone, more.
As we walked out of the theater, an usher called after us.
Dont forget your tickets!
We cant let you back in without them!
Wringing every drop from a purchase isnt a great value if those drops arent worth drinking.
Theres no quiz at the end.
You dont get a sticker toward a personal pan pizza for sitting through the whole thing.
None since I watchedBarton Fink10 years too young to fully appreciate it.
Thats what Wikipedia is for.
This is not, by the way, a criticism of the slow burn.
Its simply a permission slip to ditch the no burn.
Gratification doesnt have to be immediate, but it should be…eventual.
We all have to get to sleep somehow.
Either way, most movies arent the kind of cultural touchstones that constitute essential experiences.
Same with most books, and TV shows, and albums, and sculpture gardens.
Yes, its important to broaden your horizons.
Its also important to occasionally say, I dont need my horizons to be quite this broad.
Dont let anyone talk down to you about quitting in the middle of something, either.
Finishing doesnt make them superior.
Oh, you got all the way to the end ofMoby Dick?
I cant wait to see you waving from your float at the Big Smart Guy Parade next year.
Youve read 200 pages!
Certainly enough to make an informed decision about how much more whale pursuit you need in your life.
I dont want to sound like Im trashing Herman Melville specifically.
You gave it a shot!
It wasnt for you!
This is vastly different from deciding from a poster or a Netflix blurb that something isnt up your alley.
You did not judge a book by its cover.
You judged it by its pages.
Youre allowed to do that!
That might mean something comforting and familiar or something new and thrilling.
That relief is its own benefit!
It takes substantially less effort than long-distance running, and itswaysimpler than building a time machine.
Not every moment has to be for edification and self-improvement.
Leisure that doesnt feel like leisure isnt quite work, but its also not rest.
So if youre excited to engage with challenging art, thats a commendable goal.
