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This article is part of All the Rage, an editorial package that digs into the science of anger.
Jordan Moss
SELF will be publishing new articles for this series all week.Read more here.
After all, therapists are professionally trained in navigating complex emotionsfromgriefandtraumato anxiety, depression, and so much more.
That said, therapists are…also human!
They, too, struggle with Big Feelings, just like the folks they help.
When it comes to wrangling that rage, mental health professionals are in a unique position.
But what does that process look like for them?
Step away from the triggering situation.
Lets talk more about this in an hour/at dinner/tomorrow.
Often, my anger and frustration come [from] feeling overwhelmed, she tells SELF.
So if Im able, I remove myself from the triggering situation anduse a grounding technique.
Marcelle Craig, LMFT, the founder ofAmplify Connection Therapyin California, is also a fan of this approach.
Take a moment to think about your anger, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
For example, after removing herself from an anger-inducing situation, Craig will ask herselfwhyshe feels so upset.
Many times it connects to other emotional things I may be trying to work through, she says.
If Im able to identify them, Ill jot these down toshare with my therapist.
Thats when I know Im angry and I need to implement some [other anger management] skills.
Consider what it’s crucial that you get it out of your system.
The best way out is through.
Its one thing to notice this emotion, but its another to actually work through it.
We all process our feelings in different ways, Frey notes.
For Gold, a solid writing session works wonders.
I often joke thatjournalingfor me has become rage journaling, but its true, she says.
Ill just writeand I use paper and pen, not my computer.
You really should take a deep breath.
Its common advice for a reason.
Slowing your breath regulates your nervous system and signals a sense of safety to your brain, she explains.
Its been a game changer.
Consciously think about anything else.
If you find yourself constantly irritated over nothing burgers, though, thats worth paying attention to.
Physically adjust your body to temper your emotions.
For example, when shesswirling in her angry thoughts, Wang adjusts her facial expressions and hand positionings.
Specifically, she turns to adialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)technique called Willing Hands and Half-Smiling.
She then turns her hands outward, unclenched, with her fingers relaxed and palms facing upward.
Its very difficult to stay angry with Willing Hands and Half-Smiling.
I can feel the tension and energy lift off me when I practice these skills, Wang says.
Give your body the attention it deserves.
Emotions live in our bodies, Wang stresses.
So, when I feel irritated, my initial thoughts are: Have I eaten?
Do I need to take a nap?
Most of the time, I feel better when my physical body is taken care of.
Are your eyes heavy?
Is your neck tense and achy?
Is your stomach rumbling?
After all, she says, Our bodies often hold facts that our mind is unable to discover.
