For the last 50 years, she has been on a slow and sometimes painful journey to self-acceptance.
She endured teasing and bullying as a child.
Even as an adult, she sometimes faces stares or questions because of her movements and speech patterns.
Today her goal is to spread understanding.
This is her story as told to writer Stephanie Watson.
yo note that this story contains references to substance use disorder and self-harm.
My mom was a nurse.
Once she found out she was pregnant, she did everything right.
My blood supply and oxygen were being cut off.
Had my mother not sensed a problem, my cerebral palsy might have been much more severe.
Doctors rushed her to the ER and delivered me byC-sectionwithin minutes.
There were a lot of unknowns.
My mom and dad were very proactive.
They put me in a pre-preschool that serviced the physically handicapped.
Shes more like a teachers helper than a student.
I hit all my milestones late.
I crawled and walked very late.
I dont remember my parents ever sitting me down and telling me I was different.
In fact, Im pretty sure they didnt.
But I do remember the cruelty and the teasing at school.
I still learned that I was different from my peers.
They called me a retard.
They laughed at me.
And all I remember is that feeling of wanting to fit inof wanting to belong.
I would have done anything to be cool.
Even at home things werent easy for me.
One of my siblings could be very cruel.
Now, though, my siblings are very empathetic to others.
Id like to think I played a part in that.
My mom believed in tough love.
Eventually, I learned that being tough meant fighting for what I wanted.
In the seventh grade, I watched the Olympics on TV.
I saw Greg Louganis and I thought, I want to be a diver.
My mom asked, Will she kill herself?
She said, Sign the paper.
I tried out for the diving team in seventh grade but got cut because I couldnt do a flip.
I spent the whole next summer in the local pool, teaching myself how to do a flip.
And when the eighth-grade tryouts came around, I made it.
I couldnt do the high-level dives other kids could do, but at least I tried.
And I loved it.
I loved flying through the air and feeling the freedom of my body not inhibiting me.
In every other part of my life, my body did hold me back.
It was so hard to accept myself because I knew I was different and I couldnt hide those differences.
Everything came to a head my sophomore year of high school.
I had no friends and I was absolutely miserable.
I tried to kill myself.
I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, where I stayed for three weeks.
One night in bed I just started crying.
That formed the basis for the beginning of myself-esteemthe belief that God does not make junk.
I met a counselor at the hospital who taught me that I was unique.
He just knew that I was an old soul.
Until that point, no one had fostered that feeling in me.
By the time I left there, I finally had the confidence to make friends.
My junior and senior years of high school were pretty great.
I have a masters degree!
But often when I walk or say anything, people think Imdrunk.
These kinds of assumptions actually did contribute to me becoming an alcoholic.
I was like, Ill show you drunk.
Then wed do it all again the next night.
I tried to get sober and stay sober on my own.
Ive been sober for almost 20 years.
Humor has been one tool that has helped me deal with cerebral palsy over the years.
What else am I going to do?
I know theyre staring.
And now I actually use my cerebral palsy as a tool to help others grow.
In the grocery store when I hear kids ask, Mommy, whats wrong with her?
I use it as a learning lesson for the child.
I got my masters degree in social work so I could help other people.
I was a social worker during the Flint, Michigan, water crisis.
I saw more people with cerebral palsy in Flint than anywhere Ive ever lived.
I had six or seven people with cerebral palsy on my caseload.
I would introduce myself as their case manager, and they would say, What?
and I would say, Yep!
I have CP too.
I think they appreciated having a caseworker who understood what it was like.
Having a personal support connection has been so important to me.
I would never jump into something like that without first doing my homework.
I remembered that my friend had a service dog, so I reached out to him on Facebook.
I asked if we could meet and talk about what his service dog does for him.
Within a year, we were married.
My husband understands me better than anyone else does.
He has a health condition as well, so he also deals with a lot physically.
Theres anempathyand an understanding between us.
He is absolutely my greatest advocate.
Gaining self-acceptance hasnt been easy, and even today, I wonder what people think of me.
Not too long ago, I came up with this idea of doing a social experiment.
I need to know what people see.
He said, Were not doing that because it doesnt matter what people see.
It does not matter.
Its taken me a long time to get to that place where it doesnt matter.
Those who know me love me.
And it doesnt matter what strangers think.
If youre outside the United States,hereis a list of international suicide helplines.
