Christine Anderson, 35, first started experiencing symptoms ofbipolar disorderwhen she was in college during the early 00s.
She felt depressed, irritable, and experienced bouts of rage.
In between depressive episodes, Christine occasionally felt highly motivated and energizedto the point of eventual exhaustion.
Lightspruch/Getty Images
At the time, Christine believed she haddepression.
As theNational Institute of Mental Health(NIMH) explains, there are various forms of bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder II causes dramatic mood changes from emotional highs during a hypomanic episode to lows during depressive episodes.
As Christine notes, it can feel good at the time but often preempts a depressive episode.)
Christine manages her condition with medications including antidepressants and mood stabilizers.
She also attends regular therapy sessions, which are now remote because of COVID-19.
During the pandemic, shes experienced two hypomanic episodes and a depressive episode.
Heres Christines story about how the pandemic has affected her life with bipolar disorder.
I started worrying aboutCOVID-19before most people in the U.S.
I started stocking up on toilet paper and frozen food and sounding the alarm with friends and family.
No one really believed me.
Honestly, I wondered if I was overreacting too.
When California went into lockdown in mid-March, I was strangely relieved.
I was scared about what would happen if I contracted the virus.
I was especially concerned about thelong-term symptomssome patients have experienced.
As a foodie with more than 100 cookbooks, I worried about losing my sense of taste and smell.
Then theres the fact that I already have so many chronic health conditions.
In addition to bipolar, I also haveulcerative colitisandirritable bowel syndrome(IBS).
Frankly, I dont need long-haul COVID-19 too!
In my case, these comforts are important to managing my bipolar.
For me, talking to people helps me stay grounded in reality.
The same goes for therapy.
When I had an intense depressive episode in November and December, remote therapy actually made it worse.
At least I can show up for therapy and feel like I accomplished one thing.
I dont get that same boost when Im just opening up my laptop.
My husband, Cory, and I are taking the risk very seriously.
Weve hada lot of heated conversationswith them.
Navigating these relationships has been the worst source of stress.
Im trying to set boundaries and not judge other peoples decisions.
We bought some home exercise equipment and she leads us throughstrength-training programstwice a week on FaceTime.
It really brings us together.
Even though I miss my running group, Ive found a new running buddy!
Ive also been getting outside at a community garden near our apartment complex.
I had a lot of social events, medical appointments, and other things on my calendar.
During the pandemic, my calendar has been pretty empty, and that’s been a refreshing break.
During COVID-19, I’ve been able to try this transition again without a lot of other commitments.
Although some have felt relatively stable, others have hadsevere manicor depressive episodes.
Living through a pandemic without access to your normal outlets and coping mechanisms is hard.
We shouldnt feel like failures if were struggling, even after years of stability.
This is an unusually stressful time.
Give yourself the grace to not be okay and ask for professional help if you need it.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
