But why do so many people (myself included) struggle to apply this golden rule to themselves?
But being kind to yourselfespecially when you feel like a failureis often easier said than done.
Everybody else has their life togetherexcept you.Youre not doing enough.Sound familiar?
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So how do you actually show yourself kindness in a way that doesnt feel cliche or inauthentic?
When self-compassion doesnt come naturally, consider these practical ways to give yourself a break.
Confront your inner critic.
We all have one, but you may not even recognize when yours is infiltrating your thoughts.
They dont recognize that its even there, whether itsnegative body imageor just being harsh in other ways.
Treat yourself like you would a close friendor your childhood self.
Lets say your best friend is feeling insecure after abad dayat work.
Would you call them a failure?
Tell them theyre incompetent at their job?
Insist that they dont deserve their promotion after one mistake?
Chances are, youd never talk to your friends or family the way you may talk to yourself.
So why dont you deserve the same treatment?
make a run at do the same for yourself, Dr. Gooden suggests.
Instead, Dr. Gooden recommends another self-compassion strategy: Considering your inner child as you practice positive self-talk.
We know babies are unconditionally worthy of care and respect, Dr. Gooden says.
They have not accomplished anything yet, but that doesnt make any of us think that they are unworthy.
Make mindfulness a part of your daily routine.
Even the acknowledgment of these feelings shows a level of kindness.
Remind yourself that mistakes are part of being humanand dwelling on them wont do you any favors.
To make that acceptance a bit easier, Dr. Gooden suggests trying to separate your errors from your worth.
Were still worthy of love, of care, and of taking up space and being alive.
5. verify to focus on positive stuff too.
The human brain has a natural tendency to fixate on the bad.
Positive affirmations are another way to challenge the negative narrative in your head and remind yourself of your worth.
If self-affirmations arent for you, do an activity you enjoy.
If complimenting yourself or giving yourself a pep talk feels unnatural and scriptlike, thats totally okay.
For example, if youre drawn to nature, you cango outsideon a leisurely walk andtune into your surroundings.
If you prefer to express yourself with art, maybe try anadult coloring book.
Or maybe you love to blast athrowback playlistand dance around your living room with abandon.
Remember that self-compassion is not selfish.
Self-kindness involves making yourself a priority.
And no, that doesnt make you a selfish person.
You, as much as anyone else, deserve kindness for the simple fact that youre alive.
Give yourself a break.
Take good care of yourself.
Things may not always go the way you want, but you still deserve compassion.
