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What do you actuallysay?
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Can you just…hang up when its over?
Or perhaps youre looking to mix up your flirting game with a sexy call to a new crush.
No matter the circumstances, this expert advice can help you navigate a phone sex session with confidence.
How do you even start having phone sex?
check that that youre actually getting consent.
Theres no wrong way to approach the conversation as long as you check that everyone is excited about participating.
Okay, but what do you actuallysay?
But knowing what, exactly, to say may also be the most intimidating.
If youre feeling skittish at the start, try playing the what if?
game, Dr. Brito suggests.
You might ask your partner (or vice versa), What if I was there with you?
What if I could touch your body here?
or What if I could kiss/lick/rub you there?
The idea is to ease your way into a dirty mindset by stoking your imagination.
A simple Im touching myself here or Im picturing you touching your body there can be extremely effectiveand hot.
On that note…
How do you keep the conversation going during phone sex?
In fact, the person on the other end of the line probablywantsyou to touch yourself.
After the conversation has, uh, reached a climax, how do you end it?
This is supposed to be about connection, she says.
In BDSM and kink communities, folks make a point to reconnect after sex, Michels explains.
This is calledaftercare, and its applicable in this situation.
Or, Michels says, aftercare can involve talking about what you liked and didnt like about the encounter.
The key is to keep the connection alive.
Dont just say, Hey, thanks a lot, gotta go, Michels advises.
Try these tips before, during, and after phone sex.
Michels explains it can be challenging to communicate your desires if you dont know what they are.
and instead ask direct questions like Does that feel good?
How would you describe them?
Phone sex in 2023 can be way more than just voice-on-voice.
If you both feel comfortable, you’ve got the option to embrace video sex.
In case we havent made this clear: Ensuring consent is the most important phone sex tip of all.
If it’s possible for you to have spontaneous phone sex, go for it!
Find a time and place that allows you to speak openly without disturbing others around you.
As Michels said, its helpful to plan a little bit for phone sex.
It doesnt have to last for hours or end in an orgasm to be exciting.
Utilizing phone sex as foreplay can turn an entire day into an erotic adventure, Helfer says.
Maybe you dont exactly know how to get started.
Maybe you and your partner have only used the phone to rant about politics.
Maybe reading books out loud feels more awkward than actual phone sex or you want to try something else.
you’re free to search forethically produced pornon sites likeMake Love Not Porn,BellesaandLust Cinema.
or even opening up about something you want to try doing together in the future.
So dont be afraid to use them during phone sex.
You dont have to be long-distance to experiment with phone sex.
If you live with your partner, try calling each other from a different room, Dr. Brito suggests.
What would you say if you had no fear?
Who would you be if you werent concerned with other people?
Theres a little space.
Theres a little more [time to] take things in, she says.
If phone sex was uncomfortable, unpleasant, or just plain dull, be honest about the experience.
Its okay if your aftercare conversation involves admitting that youre not sure you like phone sex.
Consent isnt something you only give at the beginning of sex.
Its something that you continue to provide throughout.
And just because sex is happening by phone doesnt mean thatconsent rulesdisappear.
If you change your mind or want to stop at any point, dont feel pressure to continue.
Do what feels right and enjoy.
