Imagine looking perfectly healthy but being in constant pain.
And then imagine that no one believes you and keeps telling you that its all in your head.
Thats what life withfibromyalgiais like.
Courtesy of Felissa Allard
Now imagine feeling that way, and also being responsible for taking care of three little humans.
This is my life, everyday, as a mom with fibromyalgia.
I was 15 when I started having weirdjoint pain.
With a family history of arthritis, I immediately worried about juvenile arthritis.
How would that affect my life from high school to softball to having a family?
I could see the doubt on the doctors faces.
Blood test after blood test came back negative.
Nope, it wasnt arthritis.
Finally, at the local childrens hospital, a doctor asked about fibromyalgia.
Excuse me, fibromyalwhat?
I had never even heard of it.
There werent any commercials yet like there are today.
People talked about FM (thats what we in the know call it) in shadowy vague terms.
But the doctor was pretty sure I had it.
FM is an invisible disease, likechronic fatigue syndrome,lupus, orceliac disease.
FM can be brought on by a traumatic event or physical trauma.
It can also slowly appear over time.
Learning that helped things fall into place.
The doctor didnt hesitate to confirm that yes, seeing my siblings illness could be considered a traumatic event.
After living more years with FM than without, Ive learned to manage and control my disease.
Ive also learned to anticipate when my attacks may strike.
When it was just me, on my own, this wasnt that big of a deal.
Who cared if I spent a day in bed, or just vegging on the couch?
But once I decided to start a family, controlling my disease became another story.
Moms dont get off days.
We dont get vacation days or sick days.
And we definitely dont get to sleep in.
If I dont see a child before 7 A.M., I consider it a great morning.
I managed to stay (mostly) pretty calm during my first two pregnancies.
But once the babies got here, there was no controlling the stress.
Any sniffle, fever, or sickness worried me, like it doesany new mom.
As my stress skyrocketed so did my FM.
The joint pains were constant and my headaches (not helped by wonkyhormone changes) increased tenfold.
But as a mom, its my job to put on a brave face and put my babies first.
That also meant I started to put my health second.
To look at me, youd think I was a super mom.
Always smiling, with a sleek blowout and a perfect manicure.
The next morning, it would be a struggle to just get out of bed.
I didnt want to complain.
All moms, especially new moms, are tired and achy.
But I knew my FM was compounding things.
I couldnt really be the mom I wanted to be without getting my FM under control again.
As a mom, theres no way to get rid of stress.
But I decided on things that would help me relax at least a little bit.
I started doing yoga weekly and noticed I started to sleep a lot better.
Well, as well as a mom of three can sleep at night.
Once in a while, I go toacupuncture, which helps with my headaches and joint pain.
Theres no cure for FM, for now.
Every day, its a fight, but Im not backing downfor both me and my kids.
