Do the crap first, she told me.
Then do the crap.
I struggled with paying the bills, reading important emails, making necessary phone calls, etc.
Getty / jayk7
But during my very first meeting with my ADHD coach, she got me on track.
From that moment on, I knew Id made the right decision.
Ive known about my ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) for many years.
I was formally diagnosed toward the end of elementary school.
First, I did my research and found a psychiatrist who worked with patients with ADHD.
But, medication alone doesnt fix ADHD; it only helps me manage my symptoms temporarily.
So, I hired an ADHD coach.
How ADHD coaching works
Building habits that aim to improve productivity and focus isnt easy with ADHD.
My brain, like many others with the disorder, also prefers instant gratification.
But coaching can help change that mind-set and motivation block.
But, mom tells them that they need to shower first.
Mom does this every time.
This is essentially what ADHD coaching does, Hagerty explains.
And then these routines become your own routines because you want those consequences all the time.
(Coaches may also work with parents of kids with ADHD.)
Then we got to work.
But it just wasnt working for me, and I never understood why.
I explained all of this to Jaffee, and she analyzed why these tools werent benefiting me.
Youll think about it all day, week or month, and it puts a strain on you.
But if you do it first, that stress is lifted.
It gives you a happier life.
That sense of happiness had to become my motivation activation.
I got started the next morning, and she texted me regularly to keep me accountable.
I felt better already.
Jaffee began by helping me understand that my expectations were unrealistic.
Jaffee also pointed out that I was diminishing the large number of things Ididaccomplish each day.
That realization helped frame the entire session and motivated me to finally understand time.
Next, we retooled my to-do list approach.
And I needed to be flexible, she reminded me.
I was, quite frankly, shocked at how long things actually took.
But it helped me put less on my daily and weekly to-do lists.
But by a later session, Id regressed and had stopped regularly doing the tedious crap firstI was overwhelmed.
Id let her down.
My impulsive tendencies had taken over.
But instead of being disappointed, Jaffee encouraged me to practice a little self-love.
I had six total sessions with my ADHD coach, spread out over several months.
During our off weeks, I worked on the skills we had discussed and regularly checked in with Jaffee.
At the end, I was much more organized and understood how to better manage my time.
I procrastinated less and, most importantly, I no longer felt overwhelmed and frazzled.
My inboxes (I have three) went from thousands down to less than a hundred.
I have a handle on my finances.
I no longer pay late fees.
I rarely work late.
And I even create a daily schedule for my work and personal lives.
How to find an ADHD coach
Begin by doing a self-assessment to determine your needs.
And, of course, there is always word of mouth, which is how I found my coach.
You should also ask them how they structure their coaching and what specific types of skills you will learn.
You wont necessarily need a coach forever.
Coaching is a short-term proposition, says Hagerty.
If it works, it will work within months.
If it doesn’t work, something needs to change.
The purpose of any coaching would be to improve the individual’s life.
So if you don’t see any improvement, then it isnt working.
[A clients] procrastination will be pretty much eliminated.
Their organizational skills, time management and prioritization skills will greatly improve, she says.
Their self-esteem will go up and anxiety will go down.
They will feel that their life is in balance and manageable.
