Thecoronaviruspandemic is causing untold amounts of grief.
Big or small, its all grief.
That said, grief can manifest differently depending on your specific situation.
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Figuring out whats normal and whats not in terms of grieving can be hard under usual circumstances.
The coronavirus pandemic is causing myriad types of grief.
A relationship changing or ending:This pandemic can bestressful on relationshipsin so many ways.
Or perhaps yourenotsheltering in place with your partner and are having trouble with anewly long-distance relationship.
Even people who do remain together may grieve the reality that their partner isnt who they thought they were.
Loss of small pleasures:Its also normal to grieve experiences like eating out at restaurants.
I think what it shows is that we have such little control.
In any case, it can be hard to manage without these kinds of usual boundaries.
People are struggling greatly with this loss of freedom, says ONeill.
Those feelings are linked to a recognition of how little control we have over many parts of our lives.
Its grieving the loss of perceived safety and pre-pandemic reality, says ONeill.
In this period of uncertainty, its a familiar emotion for many of us.
Its an eerie feeling.
Youre afraid something bad is going to happen, but you dont know what, says Albers-Bowling.
What does a healthy grieving process look like?
The experts agree that theres no one right way to process your grief.
This was true even before the pandemic.
Everyone grieves differently, and it cant be rushed or forced.
Some people express their emotions outwardly, while others turn inside themselves.
These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Its crucial to understand that these stages arent neat, tidy, and sequential, theAmerican Psychological Associationexplains.
Its very messy, with emotions you cant compartmentalize, says ONeill.
Oftentimes, people are moving through these stages or oscillating between them.
When does the grieving process become “unhealthy”?
This can be a tricky question to answer under normal circumstances, let alone during an ongoing pandemic.
But, in general, there are a few things that can complicate the typical grieving process.
One involves a condition known as complicated grief, which you canread more about here.
Acute grief is what happens right after a loss, when the grief feels inescapable and uncontrollable.
Integrated grief happens when you adjust to the loss.
We tend to move through and recover from grief over a period of time, says Gould.
(The exact timeline depends on which mental health resource you turn to.)
COVID-19 is turning the typical grieving process on its head.
The pandemic itself is forcing us to change how we grieve, ONeill explains.
Isolation, safety fears, and a lack of control make the grieving process even more complex than usual.
Were still in a pandemic with no answers as to when [normal life] can resume.
This is impairing the ability to go through the grieving process, says ONeill.
When Goulds uncle passed away recently, his funeral was postponed for several weeks.
It reopens the wound and you almost have to start over.
My father wants to watch a live video of his burial, which is so sad, she says.
Then theres the fact thatthis tragedy is ongoing.
Its difficult to heal because the trauma isnt done, says ONeill.
Heres how you could have a go at make the grieving process easier.
The key to coping with grief in the healthiest way possible is to be mindful and compassionate with yourself.
Suppressing your instinctual reaction is like pushing a beach ball underwater: It will continue to pop back up.
give a shot to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to process your emotions.
Grief isnt a light switch.
It doesnt turn on or off, says Albers-Bowling.
Trying to figure out what sets off your grief can be helpful in parsing your reactions.
Sometimes you encounter something and feel bad and dont know why, says Albers-Bowling.
It can be very powerful to help your mind create a coherent story.
Still, do your best to practice self-care in some routine ways, like getting enough sleep.
Share your feelings:If theres one saving grace with collective grief, its that youre not alone.
it’s possible for you to share and connect with other people, says Albers-Bowling.
Dont feel like you should probably hit some sort of grieving threshold to ask for help, either.
Finally,give yourself permission to grieve.
Its natural to feel sad about countless things right now.
Do your best not to feel guilty about your feelings, even if you think you dont deserve it.
Its [like] saying you shouldnt be sad because people have it worse.
But we dont say you shouldnt be happy because people have it better, says ONeill.
Were entitled to react when loss occurs.
Daramus agrees, adding that theres no benefit in ranking yourself last in an imaginary who-deserves-to-grieve competition.
Yes, some losses are bigger than others, she says.
But if youre hurt, its important to respect the things youve lost.
And here is a list ofinternational suicide helplinesif youre outside the United States.
