Did I mention I’d just done quite a bit of yoga?
What I discovered: Happiness may be all around you.
You simply have to slow down and notice it.
I doubt that this quote, adapted from J.R.R.
Fortunately, I’m not one of those parents (yet).
She may simply be an in-the-moment planner.
How to tell if you’re in need of some guidance?
“It also helps to jot down answers to questions like ‘When did I enjoy myself today?’
and ‘What did I learn?'”
They’re not looking for praise."
At first, I felt like a squashed insect.
Then I thought, What a jerk.
But that’s not always the case.
Certain dream discouragers might be pessimistsor hard-nosed realists.
“It’s vital to look at that person’s history,” Brown told me.
“But don’t automatically dismiss a naysayer,” Brown advises.
“Listen to what she has to say, absorb it, then make up your own mind.”
This idea is the basis for a branch of psychology known as cognitive-behavioral therapy.
My last thought before dropping offshouldhave been, “This feels wonderful.”
Instead, it was, “I’m a bad mom.”
It sounded so silly, but on some level, I did believe that.
He suggested I replace my self-criticism with more rational self-talk and practice repeating it to myself.
I came up with “I love my kids and spend time with them when I can.
Needing a nap has nothing to do with the quality of my mothering.”
Of course, organized religion is not for everyone.
“The question is, Is there more to life than that?”
“You’ve got to keep an open mind.”
And I’ve never been much of a joiner, even for a higher cause.
You’ve probably seen this bumper sticker on a 40-year-old VW bus.
“But on a broader level, everybody needs everybody.
Having the attitude that you don’t need anyone isn’t independent; it’s antidependent.
It isn’t healthy, nor is it conducive to being in a loving relationship.”
That’s not weak.
That’s human."
You’re probably familiar with this saying’s first cousin: “Winners never quit.
Quitters never win.”
I like the idea of redefining success much better.
you’re free to say, “I didn’t lose 10 pounds and so I failed.
Pass the M&Ms.”
(Success redefined.)
Healthier yet: “I lost weightgood for me!
(Success still pending; original goal slightly altered.)
But you shouldn’t have to get sick to learn to appreciate what you have.”
Maybe it’s a great haircut or glowing skin.
Don’t stop looking until you find something kind to say about yourself.
We all know that some truths are easier to digest than others.
(“You’re an incredibly generous person!”
versus “I don’t know who told you you’d look good with bangs.")
That’s been my experience.
(“As a matter of fact, you do look fat in that.")
So ofcoursethat kind of truth-telling is going to piss me off!
I’m well acquainted with my many shortcomings, thank you very much.
And I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t mind being lied to in certain instances.
It all depends on the timing and delivery.
“Making a person feel judged, ashamed or embarrassed doesn’t lead to openness.”
I can really, really relate to this.
I also know which would help my butt look better.
There’s no reason for me to beat myself up for that, according to Reivich.
“That’s all-or-nothing thinking, which is linked to depression,” she says.
You’re also apt to swing back to the other extreme.
Maybe buns of the kind of firm, smooth foam that fills the inside of a couch.
And treat yourself to the occasional cinnamon bun.
One at a time.
And maybe not an 800-calorie whopper like the behemoths they sell at the mall.
It’s about becoming comfortable with the concept of enough, and about moderation and contentment.
Photo Credit: Riccardo Tinelli/Trunk Archives
