Like millions of others, I saw Al Gore’sAn Inconvenient Truthand vowed to change my use-it-once-and-chuck-it lifestyle.
I now use cloth napkins, which, after washing, I hang to dry.
And I can’t help preaching to anyone who’ll listen.
In short, I’ve become an incessant eco-nag.
Blame my obsession on my former instant-gratification mentality.
(I used to drive my Saab with the air conditioner on and the sunroof open.)
Going green seemed like an opportunity to absolve these past sins.
I may be extreme, but I’m not alone.
A colleague mentioned that she’d begun composting in her small New York City apartment, worms and all.
These stories make me feel even more guilty that I haven’t tried such things myself.
Clearly, I’m turning into a self-hating environmental fanatic.
Even I could see that my do-good efforts were making me miserable.
To find out why, I visited Peter Schaeffer, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York City.
I’m sneaking behind the earth’s back to benefit my backside.
“You’ve lost perspective, just like an obsessive dieter or a plastic surgery junkie.
His response resonated with me, but I had to wonder if Schaeffer even recycled.
““Not at all,” he said.
If you did, your yoga routine would make you confident, not ashamed.
If you pay attention only to the negative, the good you do will never be enough.
In your system, there are no rewards; it’s possible for you to only mess up.”
Learning to give myself a break could take years; I needed an answer now.
Was he suggesting I throw in the towel?
“Keep trying,” he said.
“But guilting yourself isn’t helpful.
Sadly, we were out of organic chicken, but we did have the regular kind.
So I used that.
Conrad’s pal pointed to his plate and asked, “Is this organic?”
My head shook no, but my mouth said yesI lied to a 6-year-old about his dinner.
I shouted after him, “Honey, that carton should go in paper, not plastic!”
His back was to me, but I could tell he was rolling his eyes.
He told me I’d feel better if I aimed to be an eco-optimalist rather than a perfectionist.
“An optimalist has high standards but is also comfortable failing.
I thought about my latest dilemma: our family’s search for a new car.
After talking to Ben-Shahar, however, I decided to recycle my guilt into positive action.
(Car pools are good for the earth!)
That helped, but appreciating my daily efforts to conserve still felt like a stretch.
“People are more successful when they reflect on small wins,” Ben-Shahar advised.
“you better savor the changes you do make.”
Felt warm and fuzzy about farmers I’ve helped.
Unplugged coffeemaker after brewing so I didn’t drain phantom energy.
Packed the boys' lunches in reusable containers.
Took a hot, relaxing shower (it’s the only time everyone leaves me alone!
), but at least I shaved with a razor made from recycled plastic yogurt containers.
Dried off with a bamboo towel.
(Bamboo is renewable!)
Saved energy by air-drying my hair instead of using the blow-dryer.
Scooped the dog’s poop in the plastic bag the newspaper came in.
Worried about not using biodegradable bags, but it’s greener to reuse what I already have.
I had been using guilt to goad myself into doing the right thing, I realizedan exhausting tactic.
I decided I’ll be as green as I can be, even if that isn’t perfect.
Photo Credit: Kate Powers
