My first foray into fitness was in the mid-1990s.
I was convinced that obtaining a sculpted, smaller physique would fill my hollow sense of self.
Spoiler alert: It didnt solve any of them (of course).
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It actually created many more insteadincluding aneating disorderand an even more fragile sense of self.
So why am I still here?
Its still known to place emphasis on a certain kind of body.
Its still filled with triggers.
And then movement helped me fall in love with myself.
Heres how I do my best to protect myself from falling into old detrimental patterns.
I do not participate in weight-loss or body-shaming conversations.
It might seem extreme, but I wont even be a third party to these conversations.
I venture to get in and out of these places quickly before I overhear something.
Because the truth is, I will never unhear it.
I have realized there is almost no space clear of the possibility of weight talk.
So Im on extra alert, and my ducking and dodging is getting very sophisticated.
I am very particular about the classes I take and how the instructor motivates participants.
And if it becomes too much during a class, I might leave.
Yeah, I am really that strict about it.
I have to be.
I know that those words will linger in my head and fester.
I also know that someone else may internalize them and go home to engage in some very unhealthy behaviors.
This also means I wont speak like this in my classes.
I avoid labeling food and exercise as good or bad.
Im also not a fan of labeling movements or workouts as fat-burning or slimming or anything of the sort.
Same goes for class names.
Im not afraid to mute or unfollow certain social accounts.
on industry and societal ideals.
I am very specific about the brands I choose to work with.
But when I can help it, I most certainly do.
I check myself regularly.
I am well aware that my thoughts, behaviors, patterns, and emotions can quickly become unhealthy.
The longer I let a negative thought sit, the more likely it is to snowball.
I listen intently to my body.
I stay consistent with my therapy.
This is a lifelong process that ebbs and flows, and consistently checking in makes a huge difference.
Checking in with a professional is ideal and can be life-changing.
But I also know that not everyone has the ability or means toaccess a therapist.
Sounds like a lot of work, right?
