As a teenager, I struggled with moderateacne.
Like many people with blemishes, I started picking at them.
I cancelled sleepovers so my friends wouldnt see my scars and ask me about them.
I rushed to the bathroom between classes to touch up my makeup.
I avoided late-night parties, group exercise, and dance classes where sweating might have revealed my blemishes.
I felt out of control, and even worse, everyone could literally see it on my face.
Soon enough, every strong negative emotion became a trigger for a compulsive episode.
I would struggle with compulsive skin picking to some degree for the next decade.
I was diagnosed with excoriation (skin-picking) disorder, also known as dermatillomania.
Dermatillomania falls within the umbrella category of obsessive-compulsive and related disorders.
Excoriation disorder is categorized as an obsessive compulsive behavior, says Silver.
Most dermatillomania patients are women, and many also suffer from body dysmorphic disorder (BDD).
For example, wearing gloves to prevent picking or playing with a fidget spinner to keep your hands busy.
Mirrors still activated memories of the obsessive pit Id fallen into for almost a decade.
I used an oil cleanser, followed by a foam cleanser, essence, and SPF system.
I experimented with exfoliants and serums several times a week, and sheet masks became a soothing bathtime treat.
My skin felt healthy and radiant for the first time in years.
It is also breaking a pattern of behavior and putting in a new behavior.
For others, a skin-care routine might serve to increase their mindful awareness of their behaviors toward their skin.
Skin care is also an act of self-kindness and self-compassion.
First, it can be a competing response.
Second, for many dermatillomania sufferers, a cycle develops.
For me, that hope was everything.
