At home, I might have tapped out with only my living room furniture as a witness.
Im not OK with you giving up.
As people of color, weve historically been underrepresented in [the self-care] scene.
Lita Lewis in Bali, Indonesia. Photo byJen Loong/WanderSnap, courtesy ofThe Runaway Experience
These retreats are open to everyone; my group was made up of people of various races.
As such, their Bali experience was split into three weeks with women of color at the helm.
(My boot camp experience was complimentary, something that makes me pinch myself to this day.)
Lewis training the author. Photo byJen Loong/WanderSnap, courtesy ofThe Runaway Experience
But Lewis also led intimate discussions about physical, mental, and emotional wellness.
Lewis, 34, grew up in Sydney, Australia, before moving to Brooklyn in 2007.
Though shes a certified personal trainer, she likes to describe herself as an ambassador of self-love throughhealthandfitness.
Lewis (center) with Martin (left), co-founder ofThe Runaway Experience, and author (right). Photo byJen Loong/WanderSnap, courtesy ofThe Runaway Experience
Her ideology hinges on helping people use fitness to truly love themselves, and she practices what she preaches.
Youll notice a theme if you browse through Lewiss Instagram, where shes racked up 480,000 followers.
(you’re free to join the masses@followthelita.)
Photo byJen Loong/WanderSnap, courtesy ofThe Runaway Experience
In November 2011, a breakup propelled Lewis into depression.
In that period of my life, there was no way I was calling it that.
I thought it was a phase I just couldnt kick, Lewis tells SELF.
Courtesy of@followthelita
As time passed, Lewiss thoughts grew progressively darker.
I looked gaunt; I didnt recognize myself.
I remember thinking,This isnt life.
Courtesy of@followthelita
What are you going to do?
Are you just going to wither away?
Instead, she asked herself what else could possibly make her feel good.
Photo byJen Loong/WanderSnap, courtesy ofThe Runaway Experience
The only thing I could think of was movement, she says.
So, she took the day off from work and went to the gym.
Thats where a big shift in my physical health happened, Lewis says.
My mental, spiritual, and emotional health?
Thats a whole other story.
Yes, Lewis was working out.
Yes, she was finallyeating wellso she could fuel up for the gym.
Yes, she was gaining back some of her lost weight.
But after three or four months of this physical transformation, shed still cry herself to sleep.
I looked strong and capable and healthy, but I wasnt.
Tired of feeling awful, Lewis was determined to tend to hermental healthtoo.
Finally, she was able to start focusing on exercise as a source of joy, not pain.
So, instead, Lewis strove to reach what seemed like the bodybuilding ideal.
Much like during herdepression, Lewis started losing significant amounts of weight, though this time it was deliberate.
Im going to embrace it.
This step required much courage and vulnerability.
Lewis knew that the bodybuilding friends and acquaintances shed made would potentially think she looked heavier than she should.
Then she started sharing her revelations on social media.
I discovered so many women have also suffered from depression, Lewis says.
This struck a chord, particularly with fellowblack women.
So many women are living active lifestyles and are strong and beautiful in different shapes and forms.
Stop looking for approval, period.
To wait on society to see us as beautiful or fit or strong is a little bit backwards.
We could be waiting forever, Lewis says.
Self-acceptance starts and should really end within.
