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In 2013, Jinkx Monsoon won season five ofRuPauls Drag Raceat the age of 26.
David Urbanke
She was now, in the parlance of the show, Americas next drag superstar.
Heres Jinkx in her own words.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
David Urbanke
And I dont think I was ready for this career when I did season five.
I wasnt ready for being a public persona.
I wouldve loved a crash course in that.
David Urbanke
Or you know, like a night school education on how to effectively be in the public eye.
It’s getting in the way of me being my best self.
As a person who was raised to handle my problems myself, I’m gonna quit cold turkey.
No one needs to know about this, I don’t need to talk to someone about this.
I know what’s right for me.
I’m just gonna do it.
Every time, I found a way back into it.
Like,Well, I bet I could handle it differently.And I would drink responsibly for a while.
Id convinced myself that I could.
It was this back-and-forth conversation with myself: Should I quit drinking, or shouldnt I quit drinking?
I thought, Im not gonna get lucky three times.
And you almost got hit by a car.
When he said I almost got hit by a car, I was like, Thats it.
That was the final thing I needed to hear.
I downloaded the appI Am Sober, which works really great with my OCD.
Did I do anything?
The apology text tour is what I called it.
That gave me so much anxiety in my life.
I felt optimistic again.
It was very much my community, those closest to me, who encouraged me to seek therapy.
And theres only so much advice I can give you, not being a trained professional.
And you really do need someone whose job it is to help you with this.
You know, like someone who doesnt have the whole history of friendship.
Its a totally different experience from last time.
I like building a sense of celebration around taking care of myself.
Sobriety really just changed everything for me.
Going intoAll Stars 7,I felt really prepared for it.
I was about two years sober when it started.
I was in a really loving, committed relationship.
I was extremely ready.
So I doubled down on therapy.
I upped my sessions.
And through my therapist, I met a psychiatrist who talked to me about medication that could help.
I realize now what alcohol did was that it quieted that inner critic.
It quieted those voices echoing in my head from the internet.
It quieted so much of my anxiety.
Thats how it came to have such a big presence in my life.
Its a hassle, but this has become my little ritual.
Im a big fan of rituals.
I have a PS5 now.
When I have downtime at home, its all fantasy RPGs.
Right now Ive gotHorizon Forbidden West.
On the road, it’s typically Overwatch.
I always say Overwatch is the straightest, most masculine thing that I do because I get into it.
Im like [in a butch voice], Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I threaten relapses all the time, by the way.
I’m just gonna have a water.
I have to lean into those things that make it fun, you know?
I had to replace alcohol with other fun things.
Im no longer conditioned by my mother or Catholicism to believe that this is inherently evil!
And its very accessible.
What I always say is: I practice witchcraft, but its not my religionit is my spirituality.
But more than anything, its my philosophy and my worldview.
Spell casting is essentially just guided meditations.
Its about tying a ritual to a mindset.
It doesnt live in my head anymore.
It doesnt live in my body anymore.
Its in the backyard.
But that doesn’t mean they dont exist.
Everything I just said is how witchcraft coincides with my therapy.
I tell my therapist about it all the time and he loves it.
Sometimes Ill set up an altar.
And lots of people give me crystals and stones on the road.
So when I look at that stone yet again, its a physical object for a metaphysical concept.
I feel really good right now.
I don’t know if its because its Virgo season, or because my medications hitting just right.
But everythings coalescing right now, and its feeling pretty good.
