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I wont lie to you: I enjoy being a little judgy.
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And if youre a person with a brain, Im guessing youve had similar days.
Before we beat ourselves up about it, lets remember that its very human to pass judgment.
In many ways, this is just another form ofsocial comparison, a primal instinct.
Judgments are just the conclusions we come to when we ask, How does this person compare to me?
Are they putting you in asuper crankymood?
Do they affect how you treat people you care about?
Has your perception of the world changed?
Judgment often begets more judgment and can start a cycle of negativity, Dr. Bonior says.
I mean, youre here seeking out tips on how to break the habit, arent you?
If you do decide you want to curb your judgy tendencies, good news: Its possible.
It just takes practice.
What does that practice look like, exactly?
Heres what our experts had to say about keeping judgmental habits in check.
Pause to notice those judgy thoughts.
You dont have to judge yourself for being judgyits about the awareness that its happening, Dr. Bonior says.
Then you’re free to remind yourself that’s probably not the most accurate or helpful perspective.
But if its hard to release, ask: Did anything trigger the critical response?
Maybe your friend hit a sore spot or you werehangry.
Or there might be a deeper issue at the root of your attitude thats worth addressingmore on that later.
Say you catch yourself sniggering at a strangers weird dance moves at a wedding.
But I have to give it to themthey have courage that I dont, he says.
Caraballo emphasizes that your follow-up should feel authentic to you, though.
You dont have to convince yourself that your initial judgment is wrong, he explains.
The more you practice this redirection, the more automatic it will become, according to Caraballo.
I tell clients this all the time: Youll probably feel a bit phony at first, he says.
Remember that you dont know the full story.
We dont give other people the same benefit of the doubt we often grant ourselves, she says.
It leads to all sorts of errors in judgment when we size people up that way.
To correct this error, Dr. Bonior suggests reminding yourself you dont have all the information.
The point isyou cant accurately judge what you dont know.
Let it rip in a journal.
We don’t have to stigmatize the thoughts themselves, Dr. Bonior says.
She recommendsjournalingbecause it offers a safe space to express yourself without hurting others or stirring up drama.
That goes for weightier topics too.
Say your friend is having a baby, and your knee-jerk thought is, Wait,you?
Pay attention to when youre most judgmental.
That could be anything from setting conversational boundaries aroundtriggering subjectstoseeking out therapyfor a hand with those negative thought patterns.
