All products featured on Self are independently selected by our editors.
However, we may receive compensation from retailers and/or from purchases of products through these links.
You have your trusty vibrator, the one that alwaysgets the job done when on the self-love train.
Stephanie Rausser/Getty Images
Have you considered introducing your favorite toy to your partner?
They are the helping hand you need.
(In addition to, you know, your hand.)
It seems like they would the natural addition to your sex life.
But it can be hard to introduce sex toys into the bedroom for the first time.
Sex toys are in many ways the final bedroom taboo.
It just takes some empathy, communication, and a lot of encouragement.
There is some deep-rooted insecurity around sex toys that, while outdated and unfortunate, still exists.
Dont focus on yourself and your sexual needs exclusively.
This can potentially alienate your partner and put them on the defensive.Make the conversation about both of you.
Approach the topic with empathy and be prepared to deal with a contentious reaction.
Have an open an honest conversation about why this is something that turns you on.
Tell your partner that its new, a little kinky, and fun.
Its something for the two of you to try together to expand your sexual repertoire.
Remember,vibrators arent only good for you and you alone.
You may have a sprawling collection of sex toys (good for you!)
You want this to be for both of you, something special that you’re able to share.
Offer to bring your partner alongto the store or to shop online with you.
For a fabulous customer experience, chooseBabeland,Unbound,Pleasure Chest,WildflowerorGood Vibrations.
These places have sprawling online shops for your convenience.
Be prepared to get shot down on the shopping trip.
It might just be too much.
Trying sex toys for the first time can be a bit scary.
If you are on your own, embrace the experience.
Choose something that you and your partner will love.
This will not go well.
Choose something non-threatening to start.
You want to keep it playful and exciting, not terrifying.
Go for inspiring curiosity, not anxiety.
When in doubt, choosea sex toy that doesnt even look like a sex toy.
The more quiet the toy, the better.
You want something in a non-fleshy color that is more cute than it is explicitly sexual.
I love to recommendBenderfrom Unbound and theForm IIfrom JimmyJane.
Bender looks like Gumby and the Form II looks like a bunny.
What could be scary about that?
For those especially squeamish around sex toys,Finfrom Dame Products is the ultimate toy for beginners.
It literally turns your hand into a vibrator, giving you one less thing to think about during playtime.
You place the little vibrator between your fingers, and put the strap over them.
It doesnt move and it wont fall off.
Your partner will be shocked by how easy it is to get you off.
Fin is like a gateway drug for couples sex toys.
Youre welcome in advance.
When you bring the sex toy into bed, keep the play about you and your partner.
Verbal encouragement (read: dirty talk) will be your best friend.
Tell your partner how good they are making you feel and how turned on you are.
You want the toy to be a part of the experience, not the entire focus of the experience.
Be sure to remind your partner how sexy they are and how much you love their penis/vulva/body.
If possible, dont mention the toy.
you might guide your partners hand to your hot spots, or simply use the toy on yourself.
They want to make you feel good.
