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And thats not necessarily a bad thing!
Getty / Arisara Tongdonnoi / EyeEm
I love that were regularly being reminded to take our own needs seriously!
Which, to be honest, I dont love!
(Im a big believer in giving everything a second thought!!!)
Rachel Wilkerson Miller
Canceling plans sits at the intersection of showing up for yourself and showing up for other people.
On one hand, skipping a social event can often be a much-needed self-care move.
And so often, canceling is perfectly fine and the other person wont mind or think much of it.
(They might even be relieved; Ive definitely been in that position before.)
Canceled plans can be inconsiderate and TBH disrespectful, especially if youre dealing with a repeat offender.
That said, sometimes you just need to bail.
You’re coming down with a cold or emotionally drained or you have to work latewhatever.
It happens, and that’s OK. ## Should you cancel or nah?
Or will you feel stressed, impatient, and/or distracted?
Its also worth taking a minute to consider how youll feel during and after cancelling.
I used to find myself in that position regularly!
Thats why Im such a big believer in justsaying no to invitationswhen youre asked.
You owe it to yourself and to your friends to do that work.
Here are some tips to keep in mind.
Yall: Dont say your car broke down if youre actually hungover as hell.
Remember that being honest is an act of vulnerability, and that vulnerability can actuallystrengthena friendship.
If it was a group gathering and you were supposed to bring something (wine, dessert, etc.
), offer to drop it off anyway, or send it with another friend if thats feasible.
And always make this part of your initial cancellation message.
The salons website says well be charged a $20 fee, which I will obviously pay.)
But I didnt want to admit that when you invited me, and I apologize for that.
If youre overly apologetic for a fairly minor cancellation (e.g., Im the absoluteworst.Do you totally hate me?
Can you ever forgive me?
), you trigger the risk of making your buddy feel liketheyneed to comfortyou.
(It also just comes off as pretty insincere.)
But being really casual and nonplussed about a kind of significant cancellation isnt a good look either.
Listen: I dont know your life.
I get that scheduling weeks ahead of time can make it easier to make and keep plans.
But Im also realizing that a lot can change in a few weeks!
next week????
and its been raining for 10 days straight.
With this in mind, Ive started experimenting with less advance planning.
Turns out this approach is actually more chill and effective than I thought!
Theres something about it that feels really wholesome and goodintimate, exciting, reminiscent of college.
Ive even gotten wild and sent an Ill be in your neighborhood text a few times recently!
What can I say?
