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Theres no roadmap fornavigating griefwhen you lose someone you care about.
Jorm Sangsorn/Adobe Stock
Its a deeply painful and complicated process that we all handle in our own ways.
We caneven mourn the loss ofcelebrities we didnt personally know.
Grieving doesnt always startaftersomeone dies, though.
Even if the person is alive, there can be so many different losses, Dr. Harris says.
Trying to stay positive under such devastating circumstances might even feel straight-up impossible.
Dont be afraid to call it grief.
You might have ideas about what grief is supposed to look like, but it can take many forms.
You cangrieve lost time, for example, orthe end of a relationship.
When nobody has died yet, people feel like they cant call it grief, Devine says.
You might beangry, sad, or anxious.
Or maybe youre in denial and not feeling much of anything.
Accepting that your grief, however it shows up, is legitimate wont necessarily make these feelings go away.
Recognize when youre fixating on worst-case scenarios.
We, as humans, are generally not so good at dealing with things we cant control.
Thats one reason why so many of us (me!)
will catastrophize an upsetting situation or imagine the worst-case scenario.
Thats why Dr. Harris suggests finding ways to practicemindfulnesson your own.
For example, maybe youre thinking, Ill never be able to live without this person.
If it feels appropriate, discuss the elephant in the room.
Many of us avoid the D-word, much less talk openly about it over the dinner table.
Surround yourself with people who validate your experience.
If you dont feel ready to get so vulnerable with others, thats okay too.
Instead, you might trywriting down your thoughtsin a journal.
Think of it as a space to name, acknowledge, and be honest about how yourereallyfeeling.
Dont ignore your own needs just because youre grieving.
Are you the family member who has it all together amidst all the chaos?
Maybe youre the friend who cancels all their plans, just in case the unthinkable happens.
but putting your life on hold to support them can be emotionally exhausting.
give a shot to reframe the loss as a reminder to appreciate life.
But the truth is, there is some merit to these platitudes.
Anticipatory grief can be a powerful reminder to make the most of the limited time you have together.
The death of a loved one is never easy, but know that you could heal.
But there is some comforting news.
