Anyone whos been through one knows: Theres no rule book on how to get over abreakup.
And those cliches about time healing all wounds arent much comfort when everything feels so unbearably awful right now.
Be mindful of relying on distractions that do more harm than good.
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Its tempting to distract yourself from your distressing reality.
Similarly, jumping into arebound relationshipto fill a void (a.k.a.
when youre not ready) can cause even more stress and regret.
That brings us to our next pointer….
2.
Dont fight the heartache: Feel it.
But you actually have to feel your feelings so you can understand and accept what happened.
So give yourself grace andcompassionduring this difficult and confusing time, Dr. Gundle advises.
Reconnect with things that make you happy.
Maybe you havent painted in a while because youve spent most of your free time with your significant other.
Or perhaps you pressed pause on your bedside guitar sessions when you started sleeping at their place every night.
Focus on creating new memories.
Its important to create memories that arent connected to your ex-partner, Dr. Orbuch says.
Remind yourself of all the reasons you broke up in the first place.
Instead, your perception of why it ended is what is most important, Dr. Orbuch says.
Take note of why you, as a couple, werent compatible.
Think twice before hooking up with your ex post-breakup.
Oh, and speaking of ending things on a healthier note: Dont booty-call your ex.
Fine, we shouldnt tell you what to do (and every relationship breakup is unique).
Consider cutting off contact with your ex.
Many of us hope we can stay friendsor at least be cordialwith our former partners.
A good start is to reduce communication to only what is necessary, Decker says.
Write a letter to your exbut dont send it.
Remember youre not alonethats what friends (and family members) are for!
(But if youre still worried youll bother them, here are some expert-approvedhealthy ways to vent.)
And dont be afraid to reach out to the people youve lost touch with.
Okay, maybe you kind of ghosted your buddies when you were in the thick of a whirlwind romance.
Or perhaps you had atoxic partnerwho didnt want you spending time with anyone but them.
Id love a chance to reconnect with you if youre open to it.
Remove any physical reminders of your ex…
The healthiest coping mechanism is getting rid of everything associated with this person, according to Zaman.
…or at least hide those mementos.
That way, you’ve got the option to make a less impulsive decision about what to do.
Consider enlisting the help of a mental health professional.
Hopefully, youll also gain the self-awareness necessary for forminghealthy romantic partnershipsdown the line, Dr. Gundle says.
At what point, exactly, is it time to call in a pro?
(Not sure how to go about getting mental health help?
This guide tofinding an affordable therapistis a good place to start.)
Finally, attempt to be patient and trust the process.
If youre outside the United States,hereis a list of international suicide helplines.
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