Youve probably heard it before: Communication is key tohealthy relationships.
Attachment style might also be at play.
Heres how to encourage your partner to open up.
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Do a pulse check on your own feelings about the situation first.
If you dont know what the heck is going on in their head, your imagination can run wild.
(When in reality, they could just be tired.)
Its important to assess your own attachment style if youre feeling insecure in your relationship.
Or, perhaps, are you filling in those gaps based on fear, and not facts?
One helpful way to find this out is through journaling.
Ask questions that encourage them to reflect.
What was going through your mind?
or Im curious if that phone call made you feel sad or angry?
If they give you a super-short fine, follow up with I imagine I might feel annoyed.
Is that what happened to you?
Your partner might not even be thinking about how the phone call made them feel.
Asking themin an open yet specific wayprompts them to reflect on whats simmering deep down.
Youre asking their brain to check in with their feelings, says Schoen.
Of course, you shouldnt prompt them to talk in every situation.
If they seem irritable or are physically turning away or short of breath,give them space.
Let your SO know you appreciate themand what you want more of.
Itll also make you both feel more comfortable and committed to each other.
This focuses on strength in the relationship instead of pointing out negative behaviors or criticizing, says Dr. Nelson.
Beclear and specific about your expectationsof the relationship.
Finally, let them know youre grateful.
Know when to give therapy a try.
If youre still getting nowhere with your partner, it might be time to bring in a professional.
(Here are sometips to find an affordable one.)
If your partner recoils at the thought, let them know how vital itand thereby the relationshipis to you.
Also, try not to rely solely on your SO for all your emotional needs and support.
Here are somesubtle signs you two might be falling out of love.
Emotions are messy and difficult, even if youre an open book.
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