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It can be a time of experimentation, freedom, and learning who you are.
Maskot/Getty Images/Amanda K Bailey
Which can be exhilarating!
Take the time to reflect on who you’ve been and who you would like to be.
With this advice, youll have the pointers you need for navigating being out at school.
Theres no set time frame in which you must figure out who you are and let people know.
Gender and sexual orientation are aspects of who you are that can change over your lifetime.
It’s okay to not know for sure if youre queer or trans.
Remember that coming out can mean whatever you want it to
Telling people is a journey.
It isnt limited to one moment, and will happen again and again with new folks over your lifetime.
That said, talking about being queer or trans for the first time is not easy for everyone.
Remind yourself why you chose this moment, this place, this space to come out.
Trans people specifically might find they want extra support handling coming out or dealing with dysphoria.
In that case, seek out other trans people to advise and support you, Spivey recommends.
(Or all of the above!)
Take advantage of the resources your school offers.
Ultimately, you should know that you dont have to go through this solo.
The first step can feel liberating, but also lonely, says Fernando.
But keep in mind that making friends can take time.
People aren’t always going to share your interests, experiences, or politics.
Thats even more important if you arent white.
Find some friends who are also queer and trans people of color, Ash says.
In their experience, it can be so lonely being one of the only queers of color.
Bonus: It makes for a great conversation starter in person or online.
But feel free to do it over email if that feels more comfortable.
You may experience rejection, ridicule, or, in the worst cases, violence.
There may be times when you dont feel like you might safely be your full self.
When that happens, try not to feel guilty or beat yourself up for lying.
Ideally, one of them can help you switch rooms, seats, or classes.
Your safety and comfort are important, says Cam.
See if theres all-gender housing, all-gender restrooms, or any other options that would make you more comfortable.
Your fellow queer and trans students will more than likely have your back too.
Find local places you feel safe in to spend time with yourself when youre stressed, Cruz says.
Remember that colleges are only one part of a larger community.
Set up an appointment to see a therapist.
Explore local community resources, she says.
You never know where you might find your chosen family.
