Take a deep breath though: Having fantastic sex with herpes just requires some extra awareness and planning.
Heres how to feel like your old, hot self againand get back to getting down.
Understanding herpes is key to having good sex after your diagnosis.
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(Not necessarily true, as well learn in a bit.)
A good number of people even think herpes can belethal.
(Wrongexcept in exceptionally rare cases, like when babies contract it at birth.)
So on to the basics:
How do I talk about herpes with sexual partners?
This is a key part of having fully consensual sex.
Yes, this also means disclosing oral herpes.
Mouths can come into sexual play way sooner than genitals, she says.
Which is not the case!
And, again, unprotected oral sex is an increasingly prevalent cause of genital herpes infections.
In reality, disclosures dont have to be a harrowing, mood-killing ordeal.
Picking the time and place for this is about what feels most comfortable for you and your partner.
Start with one or two sentences, like, I have herpes.
This is how it affects me.
End by inviting the other person to have a discussion.
(If improvising this feels intimidating, Depasse has createdbasic scriptsto help.)
As you answer questions about herpes, you dont need to have every single data point memorized.
If something slips your mind, it’s possible for you to look it up together.
While sharing your status can sometimes feel tricky or uncomfortable, it can lead to better sex and relationships.
Still, its always possible that the other person in your sexual equation wont put aside their internalized stigmas.
Some potential partners wont be able to deal, King acknowledges.
Risk reduction is different in every relationship, Pierce says.
And it can change as relationships evolve.
An outbreak may take certain sex acts off the table until things clear up.
But that doesnt meanallforms of intimacy need to come to a screeching halt, Dale explains.
Outbreaks can provide opportunities to discover new ways of connecting intimately.
People in relationships often say herpes never comes up unless they are having an outbreak.
My herpes is just one tiny aspect of it.
It doesnt define or limit my ability to experience pleasure and connection with my partner in the slightest.
We bet youll find the same is true for you.
