is common advice for couplesbut what does it mean?
Of course, this process isnt always straightforward when you factor in your unique dynamic and personal needs.
But generally speaking,successful relationshipsthrive when both people can open up with compassion and consideration.
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Use active listening to understand your partners point of viewbeforesharing yours.
For one, its human to become distracted by your own thoughts and emotions.
You may, for instance, start planning your defense instead of fully hearing an issue your partner raises.
Swap accusations and demands with I statements.
Ultimately, focusing on your own feelings lessens your chance of coming across ascritical and combative, Harrison says.
and potential compromises (What if we save the marathon showers for nights and weekends?).
Pay attention to your (and your partners )body language.
Nonverbal communication is just as important as the words you say, both experts agree.
So the first step is to ask your partner what nonverbal cues they prefer, she says.
Do they like or absolutely hate eye contact?
Is physical touch comforting or overwhelming?
Maybe they say their day was fine, but their facial expression suggests otherwise.
Or they typically maintain eye contact and suddenly avoid it.
In these off moments, Harrison suggests gently sharing your observations (I noticed X out-of-character behavior.
Are you sure everythings okay?)
to encourage them to open up without pressuring them or jumping to conclusions.
Team upagainstproblems instead of arguingaboutthem.
Say youre arguing about who forgot to pay the electric bill.
Its easy to get stuck in a blame game: You never remember things like this!
Well, you always remind me!
Or maybe the deeper issue is about feeling overwhelmed and unsupported in handling household tasks.
Whats important is that you work through it togethernot duke it out.
Look for common ground.
Another key conflict resolution skill is learning to meet halfway.
A win-win solution could be making late-night plans for Friday night and relaxing at home on Saturday.
instead of calling the shots on your own.
Call a time-out if things are getting too tense.
Can we take an hour and revisit this after weve had a breather?
Having good communication skills comes in clutch during tense conflicts or big talks about your future.
Its helpful to regularly check in about how your significant other is doing, Sanders adds.
Do they feel supported?
How can you both grow together?
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