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While you may dream about everyone hitting it off, as I did, theres no guarantee thatll happen.

Colorful illustration of two couples talking to each other

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The below therapist-backed tips can help you find The Ones.

ID people with similar interests.

Its easy to turn down invites when its a vague We should get drinks sometime!

Reflect on what your relationship needsnot just whatyouwant.

Her advice: Figure out what your relationship needs versus what you and your significant other need individually.

For example, Im a huge introvert and lovespending time in naturewith one or two close pals.

One of our all-time favorite double dates was hiking to a mountain-top brewery.

I got to be outdoors and he got the celebratory IPAswin-win.

Be open-minded about the other people.

As she puts it, Unfortunately, people jump ship quickly.

Her advice: Dont write the other couple off too quickly.

Not every friendship has to fit every piece of your life, Engler says.

Its okay if theyre not your very best friends.

Ask yourself: Can you be a little more flexible when it comes to getting along with these people?

Try a mix of activities in and (way) out of your comfort zone.

You wont worry as much about messing up oracting weirdif you know what youre getting into, she explains.

Doing something totally random but entertaining and memorable can create a strong foundation for a friendship, Engler says.

Were we the oldest people there?

Did we spend way too much money on overpriced drinks and tickets?

But we still giggle with them about how ridiculously silly the night was.

Partaking in novel experiences with your partner can make you feel more secure and satisfied with them,researchshows.

Invest enough time and energy.

Be prepared to commit some time and energy.

The payoff will be so huge, Engler says.

You also need to be present and engaged when youre together.

Or, If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you go?

The point being: You have to make a solid effort.