Guilt is not a good motivator, Burgoyne explains.
Its probably only going to make the person in question feel defensive.
So, I wanted to say a few things that Ive been thinking about.
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You may have heard that its better to use I statements during an emotional exchange rather than you statements.
This definitely applies here.
I statements can help you avoid coming across as critical and underscore that youre not judging your loved one.
Sometimes people resist going to the doctor out ofpure fear, Burgoyne says.
Maybe theyre afraid of getting bad news or being told that theyll have to make significant lifestyle changes.
At the same time, they might be embarrassed to admit theyre scared or nervous.
If you think this might be the case, let your loved one know their worries arent unusual.
Try something like, I understand that the thought of going to the doctor might make you nervous.
I think a lot of people feel that way.
It may be tempting to catastrophize in an effort to scare your loved one straight.
(Youre going to have astrokeif you dont get that high blood pressure checked out!)
But fear-mongering with dire predictions is cruel and ineffective.
It will likely just raise the personsanxietyand make them even less likely to seek help, Roffman says.
Focusing on the benefits of going to the doctor is a better strategy.
But dont go ahead and do anything without their OK, Roffman says.
And if they reject your offer, dont insist.
In some cases, the persons fear may be rooted in previous encounters with doctors.
Most doctors are caring and want the best for their patients, but there aresome bad applesin every profession.
Then, help them find a capable and compassionate provider theyll hopefully be comfortable with.
Get referrals through friends and family, Roffman says.
What do you think?
Plus, it ensures that you are well enough to be there for the other person going forward.
You know how onairplanesyoure always supposed to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others?
Thats a great life rule in general, and it absolutely fits this situation.
Take care of yourself so you are not both depleted, Burgoyne says.
You have to establish a safe distance from unhealthy patterns that can trap you both.
