All products featured on Self are independently selected by our editors.
However, we may receive compensation from retailers and/or from purchases of products through these links.
The biggest job I ever lost was running a national magazine.
Word that I’d gotten fired spread like wildfire in the industry.
I wallowed, I ugly-cried, I indulged in revenge fantasies.
I felt sure I’d never work again.
Then I reached out to a good friend for consolation.
Instead, I got an unexpected perspective.
That completely flipped my mind-set.
Our discussion freed me up to start calling contacts and setting up interviews.
Within weeks, I had a new jobsame field, better money and refueled confidence.
I got hired so fast I never even missed a mortgage payment.
Failing isn’t a catastrophe, the newthink goes; it’s an integral part of success.
Let me repeat:Failure is integral to success.
“But failure can propel you to do great things.”
“We all just look human now, so failure becomes less embarrassing.”
These are the exact ways to fail forwardhappily, smartly, successfully and with no regrets.
Acknowledge this:Yes, it happened.
Yes, it felt awful.
I can’t change the past, but I can move on.
It might bolster your ego to know that people are flocking to conferences like FailCon to embrace failure.
So join the proud!
And then…
FeelEntitledto Fail"You’ve had successes in your life.
You’re a smart, competent woman.
You’ve earned therightto fail once in a while," Babineaux says.
“And you better preemptively build in acceptance for your flops.”
Even major companies are doing it these days.
It’s expected that teams will go through countless versions of projects before arriving at the final one.
So do two things: Contain the worry, and make it positive when you go there.
“It prevents obsession from eating up your life.
Fails don’t determine that, say, you’ll never get a new job.
A misstep means something didn’t pan out and you might tryotherthings now.”
Now Give It a Good SpinDon’t think of spin as something only Kardashians do.
Coming up with a positive summary thatyoubelieve helps you make sense of what happened without stressing over it.
Even better, try: “The time was right for me to move on.”
Having a ready answer is also crucial when a headhunter or prospective boss questions you about your last job.
Inch, Don’t Leap, ForwardTry viewing your setbacks as turning points and see where they lead you.
But take it one step at a time.
“Little victories give you ego boosts, keeping you motivated and forward-focused,” Babineaux says.
Breaking a big goal into small, doable tasks also makes a comeback more manageable and prevents stress.
Each day, assign yourself a few of these tasks, then tick them off as you accomplish them.
Leave Your Comfort ZoneDon’t just keep hammering away at what you’vebeendoing.
“But this is a prime time to explore possibilities.”
At fault for our aversion to braving the unknown may be FOMO (fear of missing out).
All of which are good things after a setback.
“Tap into your other passions, and what’s really worthwhile to you,” Babineaux says.
Bringing in that fervor and applying those skills changes how you approach a project.
You might just find it’s possible to make a living off something you do for fun.
After the layoff, she threw herself into it.
So do what you loveand enjoy the payoff.
Get more in our January issue!Make 2014 your year!
Tame toxic stress Feel happier every day Get skin that glowszero products needed!
Learn the mind trick that boosts self-esteemOr check outour digital editions!
Photo Credit: Francois Deconinck
