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If youre wondering how to use a dildo, you might be asking one of a few questions.
Chelsea Kyle. Prop styling by Amy Elise Wilson at Sarah Laird.
Maybe youre wondering how to integrate a dildo into yourmasturbationroutine.
Maybe you want to use a dildo as a strap-on with a partner.
Whatever the reason, weve got you covered.
Choose your dildo with care.
An overwhelming amount, even.
Dildos come in pretty much all shapes and sizes.
Its kind of a Goldilocks situation.
Similarly, you have a lot of materials to choose from, too.
you might divide most sex toy materials into two broad categories: porous materials and nonporous materials.
So for dildos, especially ones youll be sharing with others, nonporous materials are typically preferable.
Some common nonporous materials include silicone, glass, and metal (such as gold or stainless steel).
For a more extensive breakdown on how to choose the right dildo for you, check outthis article.
Lastly, for both anal play and strap-on play, youll want your dildo to have a flared base.
But more on that later!
And choose a harness, if you want to use it for strap-on play.
Its all about how you want to be able to control it.
For a full breakdown of everything you gotta know when buying a harness, check outthis article.
Use plenty of lube.
If you need help choosing the best lube for you, check outthis article.
Use a condom when necessary.
As SELFpreviously reported, theres a risk for STI transmission even when youre having sex using a dildo.
So just like when youre having sex without toys, safety is key.
Discuss dildo useand sharingwith your partner.
But thats not the only thing you should discuss.
It just depends on the person wearing the dildo and the relationship they have to the dildo.
Or maybe theyre not married to one dildo and theyll use a different dildo with different partners.
You might not know how you feel one way or another, which is fine, too.
Talking things through with a partner can help you figure it out.
And yes, you’re able to engage in foreplay when youre masturbating!
For strap-on play, foreplay might involve wearing your harness around in non-sexual situations to build up anticipation.
Experiment with techniques other than thrusting.
Moreover, there are simply more options out there.
Some people enjoy inserting a dildo for a feeling of fullness while otherwise only enjoying clitoral stimulation.
If you dont know where to start, Howard recommends thinking about how you typically masturbate without toys.
What kind of sensations do you like?
Can you do something similar with a dildo?
(Incidentally, this is also a useful tip for choosing a dildo in the first place.
For example, do you typically use a come hither motion when fingering yourself?
A curved dildo might be a good choice.)
Find your favorite dildo-friendly positions.
This goes for both partnered sex and enjoying your dildo solo.
Just confirm youclean your bathroom.
Combine dildo use with clitoral stimulation.
Whether or not you stimulate your clit is about whether or not you enjoy it.
If you dont, no worries!
Combine your dildo play with a bullet vibrator or a wand or just use your hands.
Experiment beyond penetration, too.
Speaking of branching out, there are other ways to utilize your dildo or strap-on.
I love getting blow jobs from my husband, Melissa R., 28,previously toldSELF.
It felt silly at first but it turned out to be really hot.
Brush up on anal sex tips.
Safe and pleasurable anal sex is a whole separate article, but luckily, weve already written ithere.
Moreso than vaginal penetration, anal requires some degree of planning ahead and working yourself up to full-on penetration.
So if youre hoping to use your toy for anal, check out that article, too.
My poor partner put up with a lot of low-key stabbing.
Go slow and check in along the way.
The same goes for the receiver, by the way.
Clean and store your dildo properly.
Yep, even if youre the only one using it.
Learning to clean your sex toy properly is so important.
So many people dont know how, says Howard.
To learn everything you better know about cleaning your dildo, check outthis article.
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