All products featured on Self are independently selected by our editors.
However, we may receive compensation from retailers and/or from purchases of products through these links.
And while its not an exact science, you might have some questions about how to get started.
JuliaMikhaylova / Getty Images
In fact, you could probably use most of the toys you masturbate with during partnered play, too.
Either way, sex toys can be a strong addition to any sex life if all parties are curious.
First, why use sex toys?
Okay, maybe youre not convincedand thats okay.
Sex toys definitely arent for everyone or every couple.
Firstly and most obviously…theyre fun.
Sex is the adult version of the playground, sex therapistRosara Torrisi, L.C.S.W., Ph.D., tells SELF.
Its where were allowed to let go and be playful.
And with that in mind, you could use anything you want on the playground, including toys.
Beyond that, though, plenty of peopleespecially people with vaginasrequire certain types of stimulation so that have anorgasm.
So the question is, whynotuse toys?
Wait, what kind of sex toys are we talking about?
Any sex toy you want!
This category can overlap with the vibrator category, btw.
Plenty of vibrators are dildos or plugs and vice versa.
Think of these as anything that helps you play with the five senses, from bondage tape to blindfolds.
And for more information on sensation play products, check outthis roundup.
Okay, ready for some tips?
1. verify everyone is on board.
The first step to using toys is to ensure everyone involvedwantsto use toys.
It might involve a conversation.
But dont worry if you or your partner have some initial hesitations.
Theres still a lot of societal weirdness about using sex toys as a couple.
With all this messaging, its no wonder some people feel uncertain about introducing toys to a partnership.
It will walk you through the whole awkward conversation.
Shop for a toy together to build up anticipation.
There can be a complete lack of communication between partners about what they like, says Torrisi.
Use toys all over your body.
Dont use a new toy on your genitals the first time, she advises.
There are exceptions to this tip, of course.
When using something outside its intended purpose, check that its safe.
Because yes, that happens.
Beyond that, common sense goes a long way.
Stimulate yourself during penetration.
Theres nothing wrong with taking the reins there while your partner penetrates you.
You know, pushing each other to the edge of orgasm and backing off.
Play with all of your senses.
We mentioned sensation play above, but its worth expanding on.
For example, you could experiment with temperature.
Dont forget sensory deprivation, either.
The touch of a toy can feel so much more intense without your sense of sight, for instance.
If youre intrigued, try this set of simple satin blindfolds ($7,Amazon).
Find ways to reverse roles.
Toys provide a ton of opportunities to play in ways you wouldnt normally be able to.
On that note, toys can aid sexy role reversals between you and your partner.
But a role reversal can mean anything you want it to.
Like Torrisi mentioned above, its your playground.
You and your partners get to decide together what roles youre playing every time you show up.
Using toys together doesnt have to mean using toys on each other.
