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In an ideal world, sex is full of feeling.
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The visceral rush of pleasure!
The pang of emotional connection or ripe desire!
But, of course, the reality isnt always quite so cinematic.
In that case, might we suggest temperature play?
And that heightened awareness can amp up physical arousal and pleasure, she says.
Temperature play can fire up your sex life both physically and emotionally.
Scientifically speaking, putting something hot or cold on your skin wakes up a bunch of temperature-sensitive nerve endings.
Not to mention, warmth and coolness have the power to elicit other sensual feelings.
Pushing the envelope (with caution!)
toward hotter or cooler temps can also put you in the burns-so-good territory.
Playing with that boundary or testing that limit a bit can be funand feel good.
Engle also sees it as a potential first step toward kinkier sex orBDSM play.
But the experts agree pointing to an outside source of intel (like this article!)
can be a great way to start.
Would you want to try it?
This way, theres no implication that youre unhappy with whatever yourecurrentlydoing, she explains.
Youre just proposing something else to add to your repertoire.
This is sensitive skin, so itll give you a good read on whether youre safe to go forth.
Get breathy.The simplest way to invoke a little temperature action requires zero tools.
Simply opening your mouth wide and exhaling right over a partners skin can produce a blast of warmth.
Dr. Brown-James suggests aiming for sensitive erogenous zones like their neck, inner thigh, or yes, genitals.
Pro tip: Invest in a waterproofsex blanketto keep your sheets from getting oily.
The same rules apply here too: Keep things surface-level (and generally steer clear of genitals).
Tease them with a steamy fabric.You know that feeling of clothing straight out of the dryer?
A version of that on bare skin can be superhot.
(Thiscouldturn into a playful tickle-festyouve been warned.)
Just pop the toy in a pot of hotbut not boilingwater for a few minutes.
Heat up another object.No sex toys?
Any small metalhousehold itemcan serve a similar purpose for external play.
(Key word here: external.
If you want to use an item for penetration, stick to something made specifically for that use.)
For instance, Dr. Gunsaullus recommends a spoon.
A scarf doubling as a blindfold or soft restraint can be a sexy addition here too.
(Theres also no rule against storing a toy in the fridge permanently, FYI.)
), but you want to go evenslowerwith insertion, Engle stresses.
Moving at a glacial pace, at least at first, reduces the chance of any pain or tearing.
(The same general principle applies to sliding anything into a butt.)
(Though, remember, its not a good idea to use any of these things internally.)
Think of it like the X-rated version of contrast therapy.
The goal here is to get curious and have fun with it, Engle says.
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