Last summer one of my best friends went on a vacation to France.
When she got back, I called her right away to get the full scoop.
What an amazing trip!
Getty Images / SonerCdem
But to my surprise, she burst into tears.
As it turns out, the trip was not at all what she expected.
She fought bitterly with her family and was miserably sick the whole time.
As I listened to her sob with disappointment, I tried to get a grip on my own shock.
From the looks of her photos, her time in France was a picturesque, envy-inducing, happiness-oozing success.
How could it be possible that the reality was so far from the dazzling images on my news feed?
Two weeks later, I decided to take a yearlong sabbatical fromsocial media.
Immediately after announcing my decision to my friends and followers, I regretted it.
Unfortunately my fiance made sure that I stuck to my word.
But they did it.
Not all of my friends to be sure, but more than Id expected.
My personalized communication with peopleeven my closest friendsactually increased.
I guess I shouldnt have been surprised.
Its keeping in touch without any of the legwork.
Perhaps friendships in social media feeds are more distant that they appear.
Its as if were never away from people because were constantly being updated via social media.
When we get together in real life or on the phone, what is there left to share?
Or rather that Im up to date on a version of their lives.
The truth is that when we mainly encounter people through social media were only scratching the surface.
Little do we know she needs our friendship and support now more than ever.
The facade of positivity that social media affords us gets in the way once again.
The same was true about reading an article I loved or watching a great TED talk.
I still fed my impulses to sharefeelings, entertainment, newsbut I had to be more intentional about it.
Another thing was that I lost my window into media trends.
During that year I was also missing out on my connections with fellow writers.
This definitely posed a challenge career-wise, since many connections and opportunities were shared in these online groups.
Im not convinced that this meaningful exchange would have happened while I was still on social media.
Fortunately I have found bliss in my ignorance.
On the other hand there are plenty of important things that I didnt miss.
Being off social media hasnt meant that Im left completely in the dark.
On the contrary its made me realize that my most important friendships dont depend on social media to survive.
Without a doubt I am acutely aware of the powerful tool that is no longer at my fingertips.
In many ways it pays to be a part of a global village.
In this difficult search social media became my savior.
Her death, obituary, and memorial service information were all posted to her Facebook page.
Finally I sent her an email and received a response from her husband, who gave me the news.
Once my sabbatical was over I had a big decision to make: to reactivate or not to reactivate.
Carmella de los Angeles Guiol is a Pushcart-nominated writer, educator, and polyglot.
She has been awarded residencies by Vermont Studio Center, O Miami, and The Art Farm Nebraska.
