My name is Dana Davenport.
I had sex, became pregnant, and decided to have an abortion.
My name is Dana Davenport and I had an abortion at age 14.
Photo by Valerie Fischel. T-shirt byShout Your Abortion
I havent said these words so publicly until now.
I am now taking ownership of my abortion and looking it in the face.
I had an abortion and my only regret is having felt ashamed for it.
Those were markings of irresponsible sex, an idea that was planted in my head early on.
We learn to blame the woman.
Were told that its her screw-up and our responsibility to shame her.
Were told that shes going to be a terrible mother.
Were told shes a murderer if she chooses an abortion.
Most despicably, were told that herreproductive choicesare our business.
A black-looking, English-only-speaking, African-American-and-Korean girl living in Seoul, South Korea.
I was among the first out of my friend group to lose their virginity.
This was a part of my narrative in becoming a woman.
These anti-black notions and stereotypes are overwhelmingly prevalent in Korean society.
I was nearing the end of my freshman year when Igot pregnant.
I was engulfed by it.
The first doctor I went to turned me away.
The next one quoted me an outrageous price I couldnt afford on my own.
In the end, I had no other option but to tell my parents.
When my mother took me to a clinic in an unfamiliar neighborhood, my shame engulfed her, too.
She wanted to shield me from judgment.
She still gets nervous when I answer the questions on those medical history forms.
Have you previously been hospitalized?
Yes, I have been hospitalized, for asecond-trimester abortion.
It felt like a small price to pay for what could have potentially been a drastic lifestyle change.
A change that would have required me to take on the responsibilities of an adultwhile still a child.
I imagined the procedure would be the hardest part.
I thought the physical aspect would have shaken me.
I didnt feel that at all.
Like Id forgotten about it before it had ended.
I was happy that I had a choice and knew I was making the right one.
I didnt feel guilty.
I didnt fit either ofthese narratives.
For a while I felt guilty about not feeling guilty.
I resorted to the Internet and vague Google searches to try and understand how I was supposed to feel.
It was like I was trying on the lived experiences of other girls and women.
Needless to say, none of them fit.
No other persons experience could speak for my own.Everyones experience and situation differsfromanothers.
To this day I question whether that was purely coincidental.
Three years ago was the first time I mentioned my abortion in public.
The audience consisted of my extremely supportive classmates at art school.
In my junior year I decided to take on the subject as a photography installation project.
I wanted to break down stigmas around abortions andhealth clinics that provide abortion services.
I figured if the stigma could be identified then it could be condemned.
In return, I made myself vulnerable to viewers through photographs that represented my personal experience.
By revealing myself, I felt brave.
My name is Dana Davenport and Im no longer ashamed.
