I ghosted someone for the first time last year.

It was an accident.

We called it a night at a respectable 10 p.m. and shared a pretty platonic hug before parting ways.

Girls ghosting boys

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The “That was so fun!

I’d love to hang out again.

Maybe next week?”

text message I received the next day told me otherwise.

I spent hours agonizing over a response that conveyed my disinterest without being too rude.

I settled on a terse “Sure.”

I was absolutely delighted.

My curt reply had gotten the job done.

Even worsesince I’d written out a response, it probably looked I was typing for a month straight.

The poor guy might’ve been anxiously awaiting a reply that was never coming.

That was the beginning of the end for me.

In August 2016, I went out with aTinder guywho one of my friends knew from camp.

He was cute, smart, and fun enoughbut once again, I just wasn’t into it.

And once again, he was.

(Woe is meI know.)

When it came time to respond to his, “When are you free?

I’d love to hang out again sometime” text, I pulled no punches.

I straight-up ghosted the guy.

I didn’t even take the time to consider crafting a reply.

I did the same thing this spring when one of my grad school classmates asked me to lunch.

He’s a sweetheart, but I’m not interested in pursuing anything romantic with him.

Since I see him fairly regularly, I figured I’d take a polite-ish approach to rejecting him.

(I was.)

When he tried again the next week, I told him I was “busy.”

(I wasn’t.)

So I did the only thing I could think of: Ighosted his ass.

I knew it was wrong.

He deserved clarity, honesty, and respectwe all do.

But I was too far gone.

If you’re a millennial, you probably know someone who’s been ghosted.

Maybe you’ve been ghosted.

Maybe your best friend has.

Or maybejust maybeyou’re the one doing the ghosting.

(And it’s not like ghosting is some shocking new trend.

People have been passively bailing on potential love interests for ages.)

(See, I’m notthatpicky.)

I didn’t hear from him again, despite texting him a few times.

With each unanswered message, I increasingly began to question whether I’d done something wrong on the date.

Then, last May, I went out with someone who proceeded tobreadcrumbme for months on end.

So trust me, I get it.

So why the hell does ghosting seem like our collective go-to when it comes to rejecting people?

But it’s been a few days now, and I still haven’t written one.

But this is a hurdle I don’t feel the need to conquer right now.

I’m a human being with flaws, and my affinity for ghosting people is one of them.

And for now, I’m OK with that.

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