As a kid, it was usually Milky Ways.
In college, it was usually beer.
But this year, I decided to abstain from exclamation points.
Cristina Cianci
This punctuation cleanse was my way of making a sacrifice.
When I decided to do this, I thought long and hard about how Id end my sentences.
The journalist in me knows that any punctuation is better than no punctuation.
So I made the decision to use periods instead of going 100 percent punctuation-free.
About three hours into my first exclamation-free day, I didnt feel like I was making a sacrifice.
I actually felt kind of liberated.
I was not forcing enthusiasm where it was not deserved.
Normally, Id end my email with a I so wish I could be part of it!!!
Instead, I just wrote, I so wish I could be part of it.
Both are true statements, but the latter is a more apt summation of my actual emotion over it.
This might be easier than I assumed, I thought.
Without exclamations, how could I possibly let her know exactly how excited I was?
Enter, the f-word.
It felt like a well-placed expletive was a solid replacement for the ordinary marker of excitability.
I used the f-bomb often.
(Like a habit I might have to break during the Lenten season of 2018.)
I typed out this email reply: Are you serious?
But as I read that three-word email aloud, I realized that without the double punctuation of ?
!, I didnt know if shed know where I stood.
I mightve sounded like, I hope youre not serious.
Or, just as likely, Im so thrilled and I hope you are serious.
Thats so God damn amazing.
Later in that first week, my son was celebrating his 20th birthday.
But how celebratory does Happy Birthday.
He didnt remark on thebrusque period.
Maybe because hes a guy.
And maybe because he usually opts for zero punctuation.
The first person to actually speak up about the disappearance was my youngest daughter.
And later in the conversation she asked.
Am I in trouble?
Anecdotally, though, thats what Ive seen in all my years of communicating with men and women.
So I see day in and day out how differently the genders use punctuation.
Its as if this one little sentence-enderthe exclamation pointsomehow parallels the effusiveness of the female gender.
(Not everyone of course, but speaking generally.)
Men are expected to be less emotional than women.
In that example, that one mark can soften a short correspondence that might otherwise seem too brusque.
No judgement, but rather just an unintentional tally.
She used six exclamations in that text about having coffee.
Is she that caffeine starved?
Or am I just wonderful company?
I also just started to feel really unfriendly.
Even more than that, downright harsh.
No one came out and called me a stone-cold beotch, but it was how I felt.
So I started to rely on a lot of modifiers.
Hope I get to see you became Really hope I get to see your gorgeous face very soon.
And Thanks became Thanks so much for the kind words and all the helpful support youve given me.
Also, I used some highly exaggerated claims of just how moved I was by things.
Then there were the hashtags.
Before this experiment, I didnt always lean on the little side remarks of social media.
But now a simple #blessed was my go-to add-on.
Not just on social media posts, but in texts and emails, too.
Like when my husband told me he hooked the Roku up to our big TV, #blessed.
When my coworker moved on to a better job, #blessed.
When my sister told me she was making a spontaneousroad tripto Chicago, #blessed.
Another tool I used in lieu of the exclamation was the good ol triple question mark.
The plain Youre here?
became so much more enthused with two added question marks.
Youre here???
sounds like Im over the moon, doesnt it???
By about the fourth week, I was starting to appreciate a good, exclamation-free incoming message.
Whether it was from a man or a woman, I liked the straight-forwardness of it all.
By the very end of my abstinence, I learned some things about myself.
One, Im just not chill.
What I am, deep down, is an enthusiast.
Not being able to use the exclamation was like not being able to be myself.
And two, 40 days is a long time to go without something you use on a regular basis.
And something we should all keep in mind once we are over the age of, say 12.
I think I will be more judicious about where they belong, and more importantly, where they dont.
Certainly, there will still be times when exclamation points are warranted.
Its not like when someone goes withoutcarbsfor a while and then tells you, I dont miss them.
Ill never go back.
Then again, sometimes they just feel right.
