I realized that I had to quit my job.
On Instagram, I traveled, ran, and partied.
Two years earlier, during the summer of 2017, I was riding the subway and my brain crashed.
Streichholzer Konzept burn-out / Getty Images
I was rushed to the E.R., then returned to work days after.
Three weeks later, I seized again and smacked my head on a coffee table.
Perhaps the concussion and black eye should have been a wake-up call to slow down.
But I need my job, I thought.
I didnt know who I was without it.
I feared losing health insurance, but mostly I feared losing the security of a title and a salary.
Not having a job, in my mind, equated failure.
A month after the wedding, I was promoted to direct a new team, and my responsibilities doubled.
Looking back, I wonder: Was that the time to take a break?
Even if it meant risking advancement?
How about after graduating college in 2011, before immediately moving to New York to job hunt?
When was the right time to take a break?
When is it ever?
Quitting was never an optionuntil it became the only option.
I know my circumstances are extreme.
Not everyone has seizures under duress.
But I am not alone in feeling my mental health suffering.
Stories ofmillennial burnoutcaptivated headlines all last year.
It took quitting to finally understand that prioritizing my health is more than a sign of strengthit is essential.
If you have access to financial support, ask for it.
Up front: Taking this hiatus has drained my bank account and cut into my parents retirement savings.
I am anxious about this every day.
But I could no longer ignore my burnout, not with a disability so closely tied to it.
I needed help and was privileged to have my familys financial and emotional support.
The time you take to heal is worth the cost.
Take a real break.
Once you quit, it is tempting to fill your calendar with appointments.
There are so many people to see, so many activities you didnt have time for before.
I deleted social media from my phone.
I stayed home instead of traveling.
I slept and cooked.
I spent hours alone grappling with my thoughts and anxieties.
I got a psychologist.
Essentially, I created my own medical leave, but one far more constructive than my first.
It wasntEat, Pray, Love;more likeEat, Sleep, Therapy.
And in the silence, I began to hear whispers of myself coming back.
you’ve got the option to decide what a break means for you.
Be prepared for alotof opinions.
You will encounter all sorts of reactions when you tell people your decision.
Including: You quit?!
You should move to Italy!
If I were you, Id go to the beach every day.
Whatre you doing with your time?
And my favorite: Hows funemployment?
One of the most uncomfortable aspects of quitting is having to talk about it with everyone else.
Some will applaud you on your bravery.
Some will wonder where youre vacationing.
Others will attempt to tell you how to spend your time.
Its okay to be honest.
When people ask about your future, you could reply, Im still figuring it out.
And be prepared for even your own opinions and expectations of this break to be wrong.
Initially, I thought Id treat my hiatus like a staycation.
Id walk the length of Manhattan!
Sign up for a half marathon!
Pitch freelance assignments every week!
I spent the first three months sleeping.
Going to the grocery store was overwhelming.
Picking a single recipe or arranging a phone call with a friend was hard.
I wasnt going on vacation; I was realizing how deeply my burnout had manifested itself.
Progress takes time and doesnt always look the way you expect it to.
Take time to note these moments and give yourself credit.
I recommend journaling so you’ve got the option to reflect on your growth.
And yes, some days, some hours will be harder than others.
Take it easy, friend.
Being kind to yourself counts as progress too.
You will struggle with the fear of getting a new job and burning out again.
And with the fear of not knowing exactly where youll land.
have a go at step back from that big, scary picture.
First, list out your work-life must-haves for the future.
What do you require in both spheres to flourish?
What are your nonnegotiables?
Ive learned from this break that what I need is independence and stability in my next role.
Then, set small, achievable goals.
For me, that was getting my resume in shape and reaching out to people I admire for coffee.
