Heres her story, as told to associate health conditions director Julia Sullivan.
As a child, I would frequently go through major energy surges and dips.
Id be go-go-go some days, constantly talking or playing in my neighborhood.
Victoria Buchanan/Rachel Hobert/Carson Pierse
Then, the next moment, Id just want to hide away and sleep in my room.
My parents didnt think much of it at the timelots of little kids go through ups and downs.
He told me that people with the condition often have aggressivemood swingsI was just sometimes energized and sometimes low.
He told me there was no possible way I had it, and I believed him.
I still struggled with my energy levels, but I was able to hide it fairly well.
But when I switched to a more advanced charter school, the cracks started to show.
I went from taking regular classes to college-level courses overnight.
I also experienced my first major heartbreak.
I sank further and further into that sadness, which made my grades plummet even more.
I was severely depressed.
I may have been struggling in school during that time, but I was a smart kid.
The peaks and valleys increased in college.
I felt untouchable during those periods, like I was on cloud nine.
However, I was indepressive stretchesmost of the time.
Id spend weeks, even months, in a low, followed by a few days in mania.
Nothing can touch you.
In my late 20s, my symptoms reached a peak.
Drinking and being out with my friends would make me feel better.
In 2020, I was living in Washington, DC, when COVID hit.
Then, in 2022, I was working extremely long hours; it was a chaotic time.
I started to have suicidal ideation.
I thought maybe I could be with my friend Ben, the one who had died.
All the while, Id still have those far-and-few energized episodes.
The sun would shine and then Id crash what seemed like seconds later.
But thedepressionjust never ended.
My mom made sure I was keeping doors open, checking in on me constantly.
I wanted to return back home, but she wouldnt let me.
So we made an appointment with the previous GP whod been prescribing me my SSRI.
I had been on the medication for five years at that point and felt likeit wasnt working anymore.
She agreed and referred me to a psychiatrist, who ultimately diagnosed me with bipolar II disorder.
I ended up taking three months of medical leave.
My initial reaction was anger.
I feltso much resentment.
I was just chronically depressed with occasional bursts of energy.
Yoga has also become a huge part of my life.
My doctor said its an exercise thats been proven to help with mental health.
Those two things, yoga and support groups, have really helped keep me stable.
(I recently just got back from a yoga retreat in Portugal!)
Things arent perfect, but I actually see a future for myself now.
I also spent so much of my life not knowing how to ask for help.
When youre in a dark mental state, you want to run on autopilot.
That day on the metro platform, I needed a guide.
Its okay torely on someone for help.
You dont, and shouldnt, have to face these kinds of problems all by yourself.
If youre outside the United States,hereis a list of international suicide helplines.
