Tweedall gotpregnantjust a few months after her son turned 1, but she experienced amiscarriageat the 11-week mark.
“After that, it took us a while to start trying again,” Tweedall tells SELF.
“It was obviously very devastating.”
Ava Photo Design, courtesy of Hadleigh Tweedall
So when Tweedall found out she was pregnant again at the end of summer 2015, she was ecstatic.
She and her husband were hopeful this pregnancy would be a successful one.
“Baby Grace,” she says.
“That was the baby we ended up terminating.”
WhenThanksgivingcame around, Tweedall was 12 weeks pregnant.
She went in for somenoninvasive prenatal testing, per a suggestion from her doctor.
The doctors said they would hear back about their results just 10 days later.
“We did Thanksgiving with ourfamilies,” she says.
“We announced our pregnancy to our extended families, and it was a really exciting time.”
But when they got back fromThanksgiving, Tweedall and her husband still hadn’t gotten their results.
“I washysterical, because I knew something was wrong,” she says.
At that point, Tweedall knew her fetus likely had a trisomythough she had no idea which one.
“It was a lot of information coming at us all at once,” Tweedall says.
Her doctor recommended more tests to confirm the results, and the couple agreed.
“It was Christmas,” Tweedall says.
“Everything was booked, and every sonogram place was closed for the holidays.”
The couple got the earliest appointment available to them on December 28.
In the meantime, Tweedall did some research.
“I wanted to get a better idea about the condition,” she says.
“It could lead to multiple surgeries and a very short suffering life for the child.
Or the child could be veryhigh-functioningand prosper.
You just don’t know.”
For Tweedall and her husband, the next two weeks dragged on.
“I don’t think I got out of bed very much,” she says.
“You just feel really lost with a diagnosis like that.”
“It was a terrible day,” Tweedall says.
“Her legs had stopped growing due to fluid.
But Tweedall was only 17 weeks in.
The doctor told Tweedall that the pregnancy would becomeincreasingly high-riskif she decided to carry it to term.
This increased Tweedall’s risk ofhemorrhagingor contracting aninfection.
“So my doctor recommended that Iterminate the pregnancyfrom asafety standpointfor me,” she says.
“But it’s a hard thing, because that’s based on opinion,” she says.
“Nobody told me I was going to die.
My risk of death and hemorrhaging and infection increased if I continuedbut it’s such a fine line.
I’m a wife and a mother to a little boyI want to be around for that.”
Tweedall’s doctor said the closest place that would perform alate-term abortionwas aclinicin Atlanta.
“It wasn’t even a conversation to see if anyone would do it here,” she says.
So Tweedall didn’t really look into going to Atlanta.
“It’s scary enough that you’re going through all this,” she says.
And Tweedall felt disappointed by thelack of supportshe was receiving from her medical staff in Tennessee.
“Everyone just sorted of washed their hands of it and walked away,” she says.
So Tweedall planned to travel to Chicago to receive themedically necessary procedure.
“I called her office numerous timesand never got a call back.”
The Chicago hospital would only performabortionson pregnancies under 20 weeks, and Tweedall was already at 17.5.
“We were leading up to the new year,” she says.
“It was the holidayseveryone was out of office.
Tweedall ended upterminating her pregnancyfive days into the new yearon January 5, 2016.
“It was the hardest thing of my entire life,” she says.
“But I kept saying, ‘Noit is,” she says.
Tweedall later learned that she could have had her abortion at a Tennessee hospital, after all.
Thestate’s lawspermit women to have abortions at clinics until they’re 15 weeks pregnant.
“But nobody did.
Nobody fought for me.
And that’s disheartening.
You rely on your doctorsespecially in a crisis situationto give you accurate information.
On top of it, you’regrievingthe loss of your daughter.
I even had to call and follow up about our paperwork.
Thank God for my husband, because he was doing most of it while I was on the floorcrying.
And though reliving these experiences brings backnegative feelings, Tweedall says it’s only getting easier to talk about.
When I spoke with her in early January, she was about to give birth to another child.
“It’s been a long nine months,” she says.
“At least if my story can help somebody, it’s worth telling,” she says.
Feeling motivated to act?
There are tons of ways to make your voice heard.
SELF’s resources onfinding activist opportunitiesandgetting involved in policy decisionsare great places to start.
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