Youre happy for them, genuinely, but theres a little sourness draped over your excitement.
And when these emotions crop up in ourfriendships, its hard to know exactly what to do.
Well, to begin, lets clear up a misconception: You may not be experiencing jealousy at all.
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Jealousy almost always involves three people, theAmerican Psychological Association explainsin its definition of the emotion.
Typically, jealousy pops up if you resent someone else for seemingly taking away your beloveds attention or affection.
Neither of these emotions makes you a bad person, for the record.
But she poses the following question: What are we going to do with that [feeling]?
Your answer can take envy and jealousy from perfectly natural emotions to something that can complicate your friendships.
Admit your feelings to yourself in the third person.
What youshoulddo, however, is tell yourself the truth.
Instead, check in with yourself and keep it real.
Then tell yourself its okay.
See how the third person makes it slightly more compassionate?
Ask yourself why youre feeling this way.
Because even negative emotions arent off-limits.
And, maybe, you’ve got the option to devise a plan to get what you want.
Resist the urge to act out (in other words, dont be a hater).
However, when we shove those feelings aside, were more likely to act out, Roberts explains.
We start to do indirect and even passive-aggressive behaviors, she says.
Believe it or not, try meditationit might help.
But it comes back to that whole acknowledging feelings thing.
Remember how much you value your friendship.
Its reasonable to both be happy for your friend and wish you were in the same boat.
Instead of doing that, you might acknowledge your jealousy and remind yourself how much youvalue your friendship.
If youre comfortable, talk to your loved one about it.
This isnt a necessity, Roberts says, but it can deepen your relationship when done right.
Whatever you do, dont unload or make their happy moment all about you.
Once youve addressed the jealousy or envy, brainstorm how youd like to support your friend.
But there may be other ways it’s possible for you to help.
Youre still a good friend if you find ways to manage your own comfort while lending a hand.
If your jealousy or envy is overwhelming, consider talking to a therapist.
