Then that tomorrow-sex rarely comes, pun fully intended.

Its why I swear by schedulingsexin relationships.

But for some people, scheduling sex is critical for maintaining a healthy relationship, hence the moniker.

image of a phone with a google calendar notification that reads Sex

Getty / bombuscreative

Scheduling sex is an amazing way for partners to keep intimacy and satisfaction alive.

When its part of the glue holding you together, it deserves some respect and dedication.

[Scheduling sex] has helped our sex life.

How to actually schedule sex

It sounds obvious, but you cant schedulesexwithout this bit.

It feels like a more intentional step towards intimacy than scheduling via text and the like.

Technology is great, but theres really nothing like IRL face time.

So be sure its on both of your calendars.

Even give it a designated color.

I suggest hot pink or red.

(it’s possible for you to guess why.)

It’s something in my schedule that I protect at all costs.

I mean, even my admin at the office knows not to schedule any meetings on Tuesday afternoons.

I just always have a block on my schedule for that chunk of time.

Having a sex schedule does not mean you gotta have intercourse every time (or ever).

This isnt really about sex.

Manybut not allcouples often do experience this through sex, while others dont.

The point is scheduling time to engage in whatever activities make you feel more closely connected.

This level of flexibility respects the fact that life happens.

For example, I dont expect you to toss aside a fight simply because sex is on the schedule.

So, talk about what scheduling sex really encompasses.

Be willing to compromise so both of you are satisfied.

Whats most important is setting aside time for you two to be together and focus on your relationship.

One of the biggest issues couples have with this process is not following through.

For some people, that drops off once they get used to it.

I would feel so needy and terrible because Saturday would come and she wasnt into it.

Its just us, but no one feels pressure, she says.

So far, its been good.

Look, I get that scheduled can sound synonymous with so dull I want to cry.

While this tactic wont work in every relationship, scheduled sex creates anticipatory excitement for some people.

It sets thesexdate into your routine along with the opportunity to explore new sexual terrain.

Long-lasting sexual excitement is built on the unknown, the new, and the exploration of fantasy.

Capitalize on that here.

you could even text your partner something like, I cant wait for our Monday night date.

I bought something for us to try.

It doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is over or in trouble.

It might not be your jam.

This advice can still serve as a blueprint for becoming closer: Sit down.

And draw up a plan for quality time that might work better for you both.