For years, a good friend had been singing the praises of her quirky, charismatic yoga teacher.

First off, the instructor barked out the names of the poses in Sanskrit.

Worse, he immediately began singling out students to critique their form (not in a nice way).

He even mocked one woman for bringing her own mat.

(Apparently, communal mats loaded with sweat and bacteria are somehow more yogic.)

Yet I found myself going back again.

For one thing, I liked spending time with my friend.

I also liked the way yoga made me feel: clearheaded, tall, strong.

I even got used to the grouchy instructor.

Along the way, however, my own snarkiness bloomed like a lotus flower.

Not that I’m alone in my more-yogic-than-thou snobbery.

Yogis who chant and chime tend to mock those who practice in silence.

Ashtanga aficionados sneeringly dub Iyengar, with its props and bolsters, “chair yoga.”

Iyengar-ites dismiss Ashtanga as “gym yoga” because of its rapid movement from pose to pose.

They’re divisive and persnickety.

Take one yogic experience I had in New York City several years ago.

I was new to town and decided to check out a class offered a few blocks from my home.

Then I thought, Jeez, is it yogic to be so snooty to a newcomer?

And disrespecting the earth?

Why would an activity that’s supposed to be noncompetitive and inward-focused turn people into such judgmental loons?

My theory is that our culture has gotten so cutthroat that even spirituality has become competitive.

Now there is only the body.

I’m not saying everyone needs to practice religion or believe in God.

That’s a personal choice.

Exercise is not sacred, much as we want to pretend it is.

The dark side of faith is when it turns on others.

And we students know we’re supposed to want cosmic awareness and are drawn to those who promise it.

But in our dirty heart of hearts, what we really want is…a yoga butt.

If that comes with a side of enlightenment, that’s awesome but not essential.

Everyone wants us to shut up.

So here’s my confession: I do think yoga can be different from many other kinds of exercise.

So do yoga if you like yoga.

But let’s stop proselytizing about it, not to mention fetishizing the damn wardrobe.

Let’s shut up about how long we held our Eagle or Tree pose or headstand.

And it’s about admitting that a perfectly held pose has nothing to do with a perfectly lived life.

Photo Credit: David Tsay