My son was born in the early months of the pandemic.
My stress levels were already sky-high.
Add to that the sudden realization that I was now responsible for a 5 lb.
Harold M. Lambert via Getty Images
Still, I felt intense guilt, sadness, and grief over it.
At that moment, I made the decision to exclusively formula feed.
It was the best decision Ive ever made for both of us.
Isnt it time we stop shaming new parents for an extremely personal decision about how we feed our babies?
So what are the actual health benefits of chestfeeding?
Among the most promoted is protection against a multitude of infections, such as G.I.
Rub some human milk on it and it will magically disappear!
All of that can add to that feeling that its breastmilk or bust.
Because why wouldnt you want to give yourself and your baby the best protection possible?
Heres an idea that can release you from that thinking: The benefits of breastfeeding are slightly exaggerated.
infections, respiratory infections, and eczema, she says.
Can we all kindly just stop saying breast is best?
Lets be clear: Were not denying the benefits.
But the big picture is a bit more nuanced.
So if that is a dealbreaker for you, thats okay too.
And not every chestfeeding struggle will go away, even with helpI am proof of that.
Both times, with her help, it worked.
At her suggestion, I also rented a medical-grade pump to up my milk supply as much as possible.
If that sounds like you, Iseeyou, Ihearyou, Iamyou.
And it doesnt have to be that way.
Chestfeeding parents may also be in for a shock when they go back to work.
And thatsifyou have the key in of job that allows you the time and space to pump in private.
In severe situations, it can even lead to inadvertently starving your babya scenario Dr. del Castillo-Hegyi knows firsthand.
Again, this adds to the undue pressure on birthing parents to chestfeed exclusively.
Its time to reframe this messaging so parents feel empowered.
The antidote to this exclusive breastfeeding-is-the-only-way messaging, Dr. del Castillo-Heygi says, is to start speaking the truth.
The differences between breastfeeding and formula-feeding are not as big as advertised, she says.
So, if you are struggling to feed your child with breast milk alone, do not despair.
The goal is to have a healthy, thriving baby.
The other big factor to consider is yourself, Gunyon Meyer says.
There are benefits to formula feeding too.
Heres another scenario: Even if you are able to chestfeed, you might not love it.
Once again, were crushing new parents with the weight of an unrealistic ideal.
No matter what you choose, you will still bond with your baby, Segrave-Daly says.
Bonding happens with all types of feedings, even tube feedings.
And Ive had to make countless parental decisions since then: Should I sleep train?
Do I hire a nanny or send him to day care?
How do I ensure hes getting the nutrition he needs from solid foods?
Do timeouts cause irreparable psychological damage?
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