I knewLana Condorwould be audio only for our Zoom interview.
That was fine with me.
I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group. Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Dress by Gucci.
I just wanted to pop in and say hello face-to-face, Condor told me.
I was, perhaps oddly, touched by Condors thoughtfulness.
She kept her camera on the entire time.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Jacket by Sally LaPointe.
As soon as the credits rolled on my first viewing, I started the movie over from the beginning.
Lara Jean has just been the biggest impact in my life, Condor tells me.
I like the world that we got to make withTo All the Boys.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Top and boots by Balenciaga. Vintage leggings from The Ruby LA. Belt by Prada.
I like a world that is romantically driven and colorful and super quirky and loves pastels.
The tiny, tiny things I just love about her.
Our podcast was about all the ways pop culture shapes desire.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Top by Dilara Findikoglu. Skirt by Sies Marjan.
So we dedicated an episode to the movie, particularly to breaking down the appeal of Peter Kavinsky.
Condor, 23, broke into the acting world relatively recently with the 2016 superhero movieX-Men Apocalypse.
Shes grateful for the lessons shes learned from her undeniable success.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Dress by Sacai. Gloves by Phlemuns.
Condor isnt used to being vulnerable.
[The first movie] was received way better than I had ever imagined in my wildest dreams.
It changed much of my life very quickly, she said.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Dress by Sacai. Gloves by Phlemuns.
And then I was shooting this television show that was really dark.
But I’ve never felt more horrible mentally.
I was so burned out….
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Dress by Gucci.
I would go home at night and I couldn’t speak.
I couldn’t eat.
I couldn’t sleep.
Jack Belli. Wardrobe styling by Sean Knight. Props by David Browne. Hair by Derek Yuen at A-Frame Agency. Makeup by Melissa Hernandez at The Wall Group . Manicure by Tom Bachick. On Lana: Top by Balenciaga. Vintage leggings from The Ruby LA. Belt by Prada.
I would shake going to bed and shake waking up because it was just so much stimulation.
She wanted to keep giving until she had nothing left.
And they were all shocked because I wasn’t open about my feelings, she said.
When I had that conversation with them, it was like a new beginning.
Now I know the power of sharing that.
In addition to her team, Lana has leaned on her parents.
You’re clearly unhappy'…‘Okay, let’s figure out the root of that.
My parents have been a great sounding board.
But opening up in this way has been monumental for her.
I’m talking about my mental health and my heart.
And that’s something that I completely threw away for the sake of others.
Working through a history of body dysmorphia is part and parcel of Condors journey to becoming that person.
She pointed to years of ballet when she was younger as a main factor in that body dysmorphia.
I have to work on it every single day.
Working out in a healthy way has helped a lot because it makes me feel good.
It makes me feel stronger.
I used to work out constantly, Condor said in her video.
Just go, go, go.
And that was so unhealthy for me.
You would never tell your best friend the things that you say to yourself in your darkest times.
You would never in a million years.
I think that we have to talk to ourselves kindly and gently….
I don’t know where I stand with the afterlife, but I think this is it.
This mind and this body is the one we get.
Although leaving the world of ballet has helped Condor with body image, her livelihood presents some new challenges.
When it first happened, I felt horrible, Condor said.
And then very quickly I was like, wait, wait, wait.
That was very weird.
This is not a normal position to be in.
A lack of Asian representation in Hollywood has also contributed to Condors body image struggles.
And you’re like, What am I doing?
Do you have me here to fill a quota?….
That can feel very obviously limiting.
That’s what makes us human.
And I welcome that.
Moving to Seattle, I think, saved me a lot, she told me.
I’m trying to make my world smaller.
In Seattle, Condor has a sense of routine and community she didnt have in L.A.
I feel more human, she said.
She drinks wine on the roof while neighbors drink wine on theirs.
She has a coffee shop that knows her order.
And then we wrote a song about it.
It felt like a friend was about to tell me her crush smiled at her in the hallway.
Condor said she doesnt have any plans to release the music through a record company.
It’s just a quarantine project that has become a really fun thing for me, she explained.
Ive learned I’m softer and more emotional than I sometimes think, she admitted.
I’ve learned the power of expressing my emotions freely where I’m not doing it through a character.
I’m just doing it as Lana, which is new and exciting.
Its a divergence from acting, when shes able to become someone else.
With the songwriting, everything is exposed.
Anthony has been just everything.
That to me is the biggest expression of love.
That’s so much better than, I don’t know, a hot air balloon.
Grand gestures can be gratifying, dont get her wrong.
But like her iconic character, shes a sucker for seemingly small acts of devotion.
Lara Jean loves little gestures….
I think that’s why I loveTo All the Boys.
It starts with a letter.
When I asked if Condor had any relationship advice for Lara Jean, she deliveredand then some.
And doesn’t ask you to change.
And doesn’t ask you not to focus on your future.
Shes speaking from the experience of knowing how foundational a through-and-through supportive partner can be.
The stuff I have put [Anthony] through, she said.
She paused to, off camera, tell him she loves him.
Hes been there and supportive, Condor said.
Never once has he ever held me back.
He always just wants the best for my future.
He wants to be a part of it.
Saying goodbye to Lara Jean involved a fair amount of tears.
Condor filmed her last scene for the final movie in Korea (where her characters mother comes from).
It was the end of a 16-hour day and Condor couldnt stop crying.
Let’s be honest: I was a complete mess.
In retrospect, shes able to laugh about it.
I was having the best day ever working with my friends.
I’ve been having incredible meetings with production companies that are predominantly Asian, so it’s exciting.
This past year I have lost a decent amount of followers because of me sharing my truth.
So to me, it feels like good riddance.
Condor is ready to break more boundaries too.
I don’t exclusively want to tell one pop in of story.
I think it’s so important to challenge Hollywood.
She dreams of being on a cooking show too.
Anthony always sees me when I’m cooking.
I always talk to myself, like, Okay, so this is what I’m doing.
He’s like, Who are you talking to?
There’s no audience here, Lana.
But I love it so much.
I think it might be my secret talent.
Im open, she said.
Im open to it all.
