Shoshana Lipson, 56, has lived withmigrainefor as long as she can remember.
Lipson talks to SELF about how shes learned to get to a place where her relationships are thriving.
Migraine impacts my relationships in a big way because everything has to revolve around the condition.
Shoshana Lipson had to stop working due to severe migraine attacks, which financially strained her marriage.
Sometimes I cant be available to my partner or my children.
My first marriage was very challenging because my spouse really did not understand my condition.
I was pushed into doing things that I couldnt do.
The marriage didnt survive the strainit was just too much.
When I eventually started dating again, I was pretty open about the disease with other people.
I spent the evening in the bathroom in excruciating pain and was unable to stopthrowing up.
We expected to have a longer engagement so we could merge our lives together slowly.
My fiance was understanding and really supportive of my condition.
I think it helps that I constantly educate him about migraine, and he does his own research too.
Still, in the beginning I didnt know if we were gonna make it.
The strain on our marriage at the time was due to three things.
It took more than three years, but my disability case was approved.
Having open conversations with my kids and stepkids has improved the family dynamic.
I cant go to movie theaters because the bright and fast-moving lights can trigger my symptoms.
And we can rarely go to restaurants because of my sensitivity to fragrances and smells.
I created a small patio garden at home where we cook meals, talk, and laugh.
We learned to understand and accept that this is what our life is.
One major factor that held us together throughout it all is our really deep friendship.
We can laugh at anything and everything possible.
Im learning to let go of the guilt that comes with canceling plans when I dont feel well.
But taking medication all the time can have a lot of side effects.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
